Merry Christmas

You know, today I'm homesick for a Home I've never seen before; for a Place where there is always the magic of Christmas, where love blankets us all around, where fellowship is deep and pure, and where light shines from the Father of Light, the Prince of Peace, the Saviour of those freed by His blood; no more suffering, no more sin, no more parting, no more death; joy and peace are the air we breathe; work is an overflow of the love of God that fills and overflows everyone.

May we have a taste of it this Christmas through our thanksgiving for Jesus and our fellowship with family and friends, and may we pass it on to everyone we meet.

Even so, come quickly, Lord Jesus.

Go Tell It On The Mountain

Have you ever contemplated how you were made not only to want to, but to be able to communicate? Even without verbal skills, babies, the deaf, stroke or accident victims all find ways to ensure others understand them. In fact, some studies say that only 7% of our communication is verbal with 93% non verbal.

If you are on Facebook, it will not take long for you to be amazed at the variety of fan pages that form and are followed.

 Fan pages, such as—

• Coughing when you walk by smokers and hope they get the message
• I like watching raindrops race across my window and silently cheer for them
• Having a 100% sarcastic conversation with someone who thinks you're serious
• Kicking Snow/Sludge off cars

And this does not cover groups, atheletes, actors, musicians, companies, and countries that create their own followings. Not only can you join one of these pages, you can also show that you "like" when a friend has joined a group or page.

What is it that makes us want others to know what we like, from the quirky to the fanatic? Even with the most shy, introverted person, there is someone that he or she would like to have know what is exciting or of interest.

Communication is one of our easiest snares. It leads to gossip, slander, bursts of anger. Yet, it can be the most powerful way to encourage the struggling, nudge a child towards godly character, warn against danger. It has equally strong potential in good as in bad.

My father said it this way: "The real power to build up or destroy lies caged behind our teeth."

The Bible warns—

The tongue is that kind of flame. It is a world of evil among the parts of our bodies, and it completely contaminates our bodies. The tongue sets our lives on fire, and is itself set on fire from hell. (James 3:6)

and exhorts us to be cautious with our power—

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. (1 Thessalonians 5:14)

Interestingly, the last words of Jesus on earth instructed the disciples to communicate—

Go ye therefore, and teach all nations....Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you...(Matthew 28:19-20a)

We reveal what we worship by what we talk about and by the attitude in which we pursue it. If we truly love Jesus, it is going to come out of our mouths (directly and indirectly), our actions, and our attitudes.

As I tell actors, do not worry as much about how you say a line. The most important thing is how you relate to it. If the situation and dialogue is real for you, the audience will feel and picture it too. You can say it as flowery as you want, but if it is superficial to you, it will be felt superficially.

So too, it is our focus on Jesus, not just at Christmas and Easter but every day, that will cause those around us to hear the message (verbally or non verbally).

"We guard our tongue in company by guarding our thoughts in solitude." ~Dr. Tim Trumper

What you feed your mind and heart on is what will come out in words and in life. Make sure what your life shouts from your place of influence is something the whole world should hear.

Magical: Mysteriously Enchanting

What is it about childhood that makes this time of year so magical?

While I was growing up, from '77 to '84 we lived in Minnesota. For me, those are my favourite memories of Christmas. We have a large family. In MN, all the family was together. This spelled lots of laughter, as my older siblings are some of the funniest people I know.

Around this time, we'd assemble our fake Christmas tree. It may not seem magical to you, but as a family activity, it was one of the best.

Christmas morning, my parents made a rule that Kevin would get up first and make the fire (that kept us from waking my parents too early). When it was going, he'd come up to get me (I remember laying awake listening for his footsteps coming up the stairs), and we'd sit before our stockings (me peeking, but Kevin much more disciplined). At a set time, 7:00, I believe, we'd wake Mom and Dad and, eventually, the rest of the family.

Mom always made fresh sticky buns for Christmas morning, and, later in the day, Dad made the egg nog. We'd open our presents. And an aunt, uncle, and cousins would come for dinner. There was snow, Christmas carols, and lighted services at church. The atmosphere smiled around you.

There was a suspense building up to Christmas day that went far beyond the gifts.

Jesus understood the ingrained mystery that children accept about Him, but we, who have to have all the answers, often miss.

"But when Jesus saw [His disciples turning the children away], he was indignant and said to them, 'Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.' And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them." (Mark 10:14-16)

Jesus- mystery in the flesh, God made man; Immanuel, God with us!

Scholars in ancient times understood many things about the prophecies of Jesus coming, but they also confused details of the Messiah's coming, so much so that they missed it. Even the disciples, with Him everyday, misunderstood numerous teaching of Jesus until after His resurrection.

Scripture clearly teaches essential truths that we can know about our Messiah. However, much mystery still enshrouds our Saviour; mystery which excites expectation of things yet unseen. Our hope!

My wish for all of us this Christmas is that we may return to the joy of God sending the long-promised Messiah, and that we may also embrace the mystery of our Lord and return to the magic of Christmas.

Celebrating the Legacy of C.S. Lewis

This date, 29 November 1898 Clive Staples Lewis was born. Forty-six years after his death, you can read not only numerous volumes of his writings, but even more volumes about him.

Why remember?

C.S. Lewis is an example of one whom God chose for a specific time and purpose. He had ignored God for years. God called to him, surrounded him with literature, and friends who told him over and over about the truth of God through Jesus. Finally, Lewis gave in.

I've heard first-hand stories of people coming to know Jesus through the writings of Lewis. Others, have returned to the Bible. Lewis was a brilliant scholar, but, in and of himself, he could never have built the legacy that he has left.

God is calling you also. He has created you to be born the day and place and way you were. He has a specific design for your life, a legacy for you to leave.

The first step of humbling yourself and accepting the sacrifice Jesus made on your behalf is vital. No amount of what we call "good" works will save you. They will never meet up to God's standards. But, once you are born into the family of God, you can begin to take on the character traits of our Father. From this relationship the good works bloom, to be remembered for all eternity.

"God saved you through faith as an act of kindness. You had nothing to do with it. Being saved is a gift from God. It's not the result of anything you've done, so no one can brag about it. God has made us what we are. He has created us in Christ Jesus to live lives filled with good works, which He has prepared for us to do." Ephesians 2:8-10

Your life can be a lasting legacy pointing a world in darkness to the Light. God made only one you. And, the little gift He gave you can impact the world, because your God is a great and powerful God.

Can My Faith Survive In the Twenty-First Century?

Our world gets noisier all the time. Have you noticed? So many messages: billboards, text, instant, skype, mobile phones, e-mail, Facebook, radio, TV, You Tube, Twitter, Ipods.... It's endless. Even if you just scan and don't take the time to study, your brain picks up a plethora of messages and many get filed away.

Most messages we'd classify as neutral. Yet even the neutral ones have a reason behind them, an angle on life that may or may not match up with your own. Once received, one must analyse the material: Is it true? Is it a lie? If one doesn't, the default is that whatever comes in becomes part of the filter for seeing life.

For example, morality. Is it only natural for a guy and girl to have sex? In fact, if you're listen to most messages, it is unnatural if a couple were not to have sex. If you hear it enough times, doesn't God's verses on waiting and keeping the marriage bed pure seem idealistic? Why wait?

At seven years of age, I watched my older siblings reading the Bible. That year a desire awoke in me to follow in their steps. Many years I struggled at being consistent. One of my best friends in high school was probably my greatest help. We not only kept each other accountable, but we'd wrote notes of encouragement for the other to find in the morning, we'd pray together for our favourite musicians wherever they'd be performing, and, on vacation, we'd wander of to a quiet spot and start the day in private devotions.

These times of constant practice have become a part of me. Routine is now calculated around the time needed to spend in God's Word. Are they always deep spiritual times? Sadly, no. Often I have read just to read and my prayers may sound more like wish-lists. I try not to let this be the case, but I come regardless of how mechanical it feels. Even those times, dry though I may be, have helped to build a solid wall of truth in my heart and mind.

I know they have, because of some questions on good and evil that have come to my mind. Questions that you'd know the answer to in Sunday School, but in the private of your heart you hear a voice that sounds so convincing. Then, suddenly, it's as if the light of God's Word shines on the question and you see it as the Old Serpent of Genesis. No direct verse may come to mind, but you know the truth, because it is daily filling you, renewing your mind.

"And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Romans 12:2

Do we think that Satan sleeps? That he takes days off? Why then do we think that we can skip what God describes as the armour that protects us (Ephesians 6)?

I'm thankful that circumstances worked to make daily Bible reading and prayer part of my life. I don't take credit for that. But I am convinced that unless you spend time daily with God, your faith will die or become so sick, it will not function.

No, I do not believe in losing your salvation. I do believe that if you truly want to follow God, you have to make a disciplined effort to pursue Him ("You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart" Jeremiah 29:12). If you do not seek Him daily, the messages all around you will crowd out His Word until your heart is cold and unbelieving.

We are in a constant spiritual battle (Ephesians 6:12). If we do not pick up the sword of the Spirit, the shield of faith, the breast plate of righteousness (practicing giving, fasting, compassion, encouragement, worshipping in church), and the helmet of salvation daily, we will be exposed and hit by the flaming arrows of our enemy. He has no love for us. He does not have mercy on us when we are unprepared to fight. He'd gladly kill us in our sleep. To have us live without an active faith is his best weapon to hurt the heart of God.

It's much easier to hear those loudly babbling in our ears or before our eyes than it is to pursue the True and Living God. But is it worth it? Gain the whole world and yet forfeit our soul?

In 1 Corinthians 3, Paul talks about those who waste their life and then face God. Verses 14-15: "If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames."

Life is so short and eternity so long, let us do now what we will wish for all eternity we had the chance to do again.

Spiritual Lessons from Hockey

I attended my first professional hockey game Friday night. Hockey, like soccer or basketball, is a sport I can really get into. And I did. I'm not sure how I thought moving and gripping my hands were going to help the Griffins score points, but something worked. They won!

While watching them, I noticed the main weaknesses that have caused my home team so much grief this season.

1) They often didn't work at controlling the puck.

2) They didn't always work as a team. They would leave a player stranded at a strategic point, such as their goalie, thus giving the opposition a clear shot to defeat them.

3) One of them would try to work solo.

These are just a few, but the main and obvious signs of their Achilles heel. It also struck me that these have parallels in the Church today.

As the Griffins haphazardly hit the puck, often passing it to an area where only the enemy waited, so the Church often (maybe in zeal without knowledge) opens herself up to ridicule (and thus, more importantly, the reputation of God) by not properly using the Word of God. By claiming foolish actions as being based on the Bible, we give the enemy more opportunities to shut many ears to the truth. By hateful attitudes and actions to any sinner, not the least homosexuals, we have not shown a God of love, but a God of hate. Instead, we should love the sinner, while hating the sin.

As the players often did not work as a team, so the Church often becomes so divided by small differences that we fight each other. The battle isn't against flesh and blood, but against principalities and spiritual forces unseen. One sin God says over and over in Scripture that He hates is causing division amongst His people. How far could we spread God's Truth, if Christians loved one another and helped one another, irregardless of denominations and minor issues!

Lastly, going solo. As one player trying to shoot a goal from far away (instead of to a closer teammate) is counterproductive, so pulling away from the gathering of believers is counterproductive. We are in a spiritual war. Isolation of one means victory for the enemy. Whether you face hurt, bitterness, or disappointment with a church congregation, finding in God the freedom to forgive and join again (or another congregation) is essential to your growth, as well as you being essential to the work of the Body in the location God has placed you. No man is an island.

The huddle is over. Let's go out and play as a team!

Carping or Communing

I've been reading this week in the book of Numbers. Certain passages from chapters 11 and 12, especially, strike me each time I read them.

For any who may be unfamiliar with the history of Israel this far--briefly: the family of Jacob (aka Israel) moved to Egypt to survive a famine. God provided for them there through His surprise use of Joseph (a son of Jacob).

Four hundred years later, the Egyptians forced the Israelites into slavery. Yahweh, used Moses and Aaron, to come to their rescue. Through a miraculous escape, involving plagues and walking through the Red Sea on dry land, Yahweh led the people around the desert, sending food from heaven, of a kind not directly equivalent to earthly food. The people have grown tired of the food. Thus begins chapter 11.

What amazes me in these chapters, as elsewhere, is how Yahweh is always looking deeper. At first, on the page, it may appear that His anger is aroused at their discontent. However, it seems so clear as one reads on that the people grumbled, but Moses prayed. Yahweh answered Moses prayers, but He was angry with the grumbling of the people at His servant and, ultimately, at their God.

If God was impatient, surely such a complaint as this from Moses would have stirred His anger: "Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms as a nurse carries an infant...?" Instead of anger, Yahweh shows Moses who of the people can help him. He lightens Moses burden. Even when Moses confessed unbelief, God only replied, "Is Yahweh's arm too short?" He answered by showing His power to provide meat for millions of people.

Then, in chapter 12, Aaron and Miriam began to think in human terms toward Moses. Instead of seeing him only as an instrument of God, faithfully carrying out Yahweh's commands, they envied his position and the power of his word amongst the people. God heard this too. Again, this was not directed by them to God, but in grumbling against His servant. Because of how humble Moses was, I love how God stands up for him, how He reminds them that Moses is not just a man in a position but in a position created by God.

How easy it is to grumble! It is easy to criticize those in authority, particularly, spiritual authority. We take the leisure of observation to analyse how one is weak or not satisfying our personal requirements. I wonder how many thoughts and conversations we will find replayed to us before the throne of Yahweh when He defends the position of those He has placed where they are.

Instead of grumbling in private (where God hears anyway), how much greater the results could be, in our lives as well as in our churches and nations, if we brought all concerns and complaints to Yahweh now, expecting answers.

"I desire then that in every place men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling" (1 Timothy 2:8).

His arm is still never too short to bring about the impossible.

Who's Side is God On?

One of the things heavy on my heart this week is the state of my nation. I am actually not thinking directly of the present administration, which you may or may not like. I'm reacting to the people.

Two things have disturbed me: some of those supportive of the present administration here in the States and some of those against it. Let me begin in reverse--with those against it.

Someone I work with, who speaks to large groups of Christians, reported an alarming attitude amongst the majority of those to whom he talks. They seem to be arguing that our only option is to form militias. This is disturbing on many levels.

For one, the conduct of a Christian as taught in the Bible is expressly contrary to rebelling against authority. Paul urges us strongly to pray for our leaders and respect those in authority as God's agents.

The Apostle Peter argues: "What credit do you deserve if you endure a beating for doing something wrong? But if you endure suffering for doing something good, God is pleased with you. God called you to endure suffering because Christ suffered for you. He left you an example so that you could follow in his footsteps. Christ never committed any sin. He never spoke deceitfully. Christ never verbally abused those who verbally abused him. When he suffered, he didn't make any threats but left everything to the One who judges fairly." (1 Peter 2:20-23)

We have an unusual right to peacefully make our voices heard. When we know something to be wrong, we can try to vote against it or entreat our leaders to follow their consciences. We are not, however, called to take violent action (even if things get worse) to take back what we have had.

We are promised persecution. As hard as it is to accept, what we as citizens of the West have experienced is unusual to most of the world. PRAY we keep it! But don't, by your thoughts, conversations, and potential actions CAUSE persecution for all Christians, because you choose to take the law into your own hands (the devil's delight!). Don't be such a pawn. Be a Christian, if you call yourself by His name.

On the other side, I worry when I hear people twisting definitions in order to make something that's unconstitutional palatable. I'm thinking here of the right of the President to go against Fox News. Whether you like them or not is immaterial. I have heard over and over those in journalism saying Fox does not qualify as news, because they do not present their material with the appearance of objectivity. Because it is not news, they say, it is perfectly right for the President to close them down.

I see freedom of speech slowly being redefined to fit a narrow definition of what is allowed. I hear of it in the UK--a couple imprisoned, because they said they believed Islam was wrong, and that offended the Muslims who heard. There is less tolerance for truth and more applauding of twisted, mutilated truth that has a pretty face and good PR.

When we seek to know which side of the political line God is on, I'm reminded of Joshua 5:13 - 15. Joshua was leading the Israelites into a battle God had told him to fight. Before the battle he saw, "a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, 'Are you for us, or for our enemies?' And he said, 'No; but I am the commander of the army of the LORD. Now I have come.'

As Oswald Chambers said, God is not on any side. The question is are we on God's side. If we claim the name of Jesus, let us follow the example of Jesus, wherever it may lead.

Cleaning Up Debris After the Storm

After a period of chaos in my life, an urge inevitably arises to wipe away the old and begin again. This varies. A little storm...minimal organization. A hurricane...

Let's just say, recently, I've had the desire to delete my Facebook profile and this blog and disappear (as much as possible for someone who's job is mainly online). The impulse arose to do as my friend Marco--get rid of everything and wander Europe. However, the picture of my cat, a suitcase of books, and no shelter, quickly awakened my snoozing senses. I think I'll just clean my closets.

What compulsions surface when your life feels chaotic?

Look Around

Recently, I watched one of my favourite movies-Awakenings. Based on a true story, I appreciate the brilliant acting, filming, script, and directing, but also the chance to be reminded about life.

The story takes place in the early 70s in a chronic hospital in the Bronx, New York. A research doctor, Dr. Sayer, becomes interested in certain patients that are catatonic, yet catch balls that are thrown towards them. Through investigation and persistence, he is able to try a new drug on, first, one, then, all of these particular patients. They awaken, many after ten to twenty years of this coma-like state. Leonard Lowe is one of the main characters with whom Dr. Sayer forms a close friendship.

As Leonard awakens into adulthood, he longs to be able to experience the life he has been missing. Unfortunately, around this time, his body begins to become immune to the drug. Dr. Sayer sees the side-affects, but doesn't have a remedy.

One moment that awakens my senses is when Leonard requests that the board give him the right to go out alone for a walk.

Head Doctor: I'm curious. Um...What would you do if you went out?

Leonard: I'd go for a walk and look at things. I'd talk to people. I would decide if I want to go in this direction or that direction or straight ahead. I would do all the things that you people take for granted.

Head Doctor: And that's it?

Leonard: That's it.

When this request is denied, Leonard rushes to the door. As he is dragged away, the camera films from his view focusing on a glass door and warm sunshine slowly moving farther out of sight.

"I would do all the things that you people take for granted."

What do you take for granted? Can you walk? Have you ever enjoyed the feel of walking, the strength of your muscles, the ability to stretch and run and skip? If you are limited here, have you enjoyed the other senses? The smell of crisp fall air; the touch of a hand or the feel of soft fur; the taste of your favourite meal; the sound of music or laughter; the beauty of a landscape, picture, or face?

When was the last time you longed to see someone and realized how great the ache would be if they were not there? It is like waking from a dream to imagine a family member, friend, pet that you love, gone; then to reaffirm your love for that one as if you received them back from the dead.

The freedoms we have to make decisions: instead of dreading grocery shopping, try to imagine countries without grocery stores. Then open your eyes to all the richness before you.

With the Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend and the American next month and with Christmas less than a few months away, the fall is a wonderful time to slow down and become intoxicated with gratitude for all that God has given.

We have so much, don't we? What are you thankful for?

If God Says No

I've been contemplating lately about longings. Bear with me.

Longings are not only universal, but relatively constant. Even in a state of contentment, we get hungry...

My questions have come from analysis of the past and present, and questions of the future.

Recently, I acquired a copy of two letters from a member of The White Rose (an anti-Nazi, German university resistance group) and her fiance. The letters have never been published in English. Many of The White Rose members were killed with personal and national dreams unfulfilled and never knew that their movement was later used by the Allies.

I've mentioned before, Dietrich Bonhoeffer died two days before the Allies freed Germany. Corrie ten Boom, lost her family in a concentration camp and, after all she'd been through, would daydream of taking a walk with a man she'd dated before the Holocaust.

Two of my friends have lost spouses this year: one in an accident, the other from an aneurysm. Both have confidence they will see their loved one in heaven, but never again on earth.

These examples are mainly relational, but Hebrews 11, the Hall of Faith chapter, lists many heroes, who died with a variety of hopes unfulfilled. Yet, they had confidence in God, who keeps His promises.

So, as I bring my request before God, I'm reminded that He may say "no." If He does, I am left with the question of how I will respond. Will I accept His answer or will I pout (and when the longing is great, it's hard to accept that it may be satisfied another way than how I hope)? Will I seek Him only for what I want or will I seek Him for Himself?

It's not as easy as it sounds, is it? Like in every area of life, I've found it is a process of surrender, which may have to be learned again.

What about you? How are you learning the difference between seeking God versus seeking His benefits?

Urgent vs. Important

For those who have followed my blog, yes, this is unusual to post twice in one week. Tomorrow marks the anniversary of the death of a childhood friend. That and other thoughts got me musing.

While in college, my father would often admonish me, concerning my relationship with God, to make sure to make time for what is important. He knew that the urgent would always demand precedence. This is true on many levels.

An idea that has come to me frequently is that you make time for what matters to you. You know if someone thinks you're important by how they act. It doesn't have to be big things, maybe just a note, but they reach out because you matter.

My friend was killed in an accident. He was on his way to work and his life ended. Thankfully, the testimonies of friends and family reveal he lived out a similar principal, with people and with God. But, if he hadn't, how quickly it would have been too late.

So I'm reminded once again--make time for what's important. Life doesn't slow down (I'm learning that). Instead, it accelerates. It's you who has to say, "This one matters!" Your children, parents, spouse, friends... savour the moments, the touch, the faces, the words. Take time for God. Take time for people.

Activities never end, but people do.

What's Love Got to Do with It?

My employer has begun a racial diversity group, in which I am a part. We have been discussing the importance of diversity and what it would look like in our immediate context.

This week, an African American male and an Indian (from India) female were sharing that their comfort level is greatest in groups of their own people. A couple of us countered that, as Christians, we should all be one in Christ; we should be one people and not segregate ourselves.

Our group monitor reminded us of Jesus example of reaching out, going the extra mile for those ostracized by His nation. The example of His reaching out to the Samaritan woman at the well came to mind. Jesus did not expect her to join the groups of His own people first, but spent time showing He cared for her as an individual and knew her greatest need.

I little brighter light went on in my head. In my desire that we all be unified, I have to realize that there are people that I need to reach out to in a more purposeful way, to show love, to make feel welcome and important.

Paul, in Philippians says, "Each of us should look not only to our own needs, but also to the needs of others." He goes on to give the greatest example for us to follow, the Hero of Love--Jesus Christ.

Jesus tied loving others in with true love for God when He gave the greatest commands: "'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the greatest and most important commandment. The second is like it: 'You must love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:37-40)

People today often choose one command over the other. They either focus so much on God that they fail to grasp that love for God is shown by His love flowing through us to others. If we are not practically loving others, we do not love God. "By this all men will know that you are My disciples if you have love for one another."

On the other extreme, individuals get so caught up in causes that they fail to see God. If we don't love God, what we do for others, no matter how good it appears to our fellow humans, is using people in the most selfish sense of the word.

Oswald Chambers rightly said: "No love of the natural heart is safe unless the human heart has been satisfied by God first."

And Augustine explains: "He loves Thee [God] too little who loves anything together with Thee, which he loves not for Thy sake."

As in all things the Bible teaches, there is a balancing rope to be walked. Loving God is always first. That comes from time with Him, feeding in His Word, talking with Him, but, then, going out and doing what He says (cf. James).

What is He asking you to do this week? Is there someone from another country or a different background that needs you to go the extra mile to show you care to really know them? Is there someone in financial need that God is asking you to give money without thought of repayment? Is there someone who is physically hurting that needs help around the house?

We must always focus on seeking God's face, while holding each other's hand.

Deja Vu and Amnesia

Do you ever have days when you feel what you conquered several hours before is back defeating you now? For me, this is one of the hardest parts of life.

I'm not one for repetition. I hate song lyrics that repeat and repeat. I get impatient with hearing long stories of trite origin retold.

This is one of the reasons I didn't last as a piano student. I hated scales. Maybe it's because I'm task-oriented; I love to accomplish something and check it off my list. Likely too, I'm just lazy.

Regardless, in my image of how life should play out, I should learn something, master it, and move on; I should not be trying to emotionally grasp it a week, a day, an hour later.

Someone aptly quoted a Professor Clair Davis saying that the Christian life is "a combination of amnesia and deja vu, but I'm not sure if I've said that before!" It correctly sums up this feeling of learning and relearning.

I've been reading through Genesis, Exodus and now into Leviticus. One of the things that struck me this time, while reading of the rituals of the sacrificial system, was how interactive it was. It cost something. You had to bring one of your own animals or purchase one, lay your hand on it, and kill it. It cost financially, but it also cost emotionally. That animal was taking your place, dying because you sinned. The physical interaction had to leave an indelible impression. There was the smell of incense, not to be burned anywhere else; the feel of the lamb's head under your hand as you held it while it was slain; the sight and smell of the blood and burning...

Our sins have cost Jesus the utmost price; dying for sins He never committed, and for people who never loved Him (and most who never would). Dietrich Bonhoeffer calls it costly grace. Jesus paid the ultimate penalty so that we would be free. Free to do what we want? No. Free to serve Him from our heart.

This all comes back to the battle. We are free to fight now. Free to win by the Spirit of God in us, who belong to Him. Yes, it is wearying to fight and re-fight, but we have the chance to win a battle that before Jesus we had no hope to win.

This fight is the cost of our faith. It does not win us salvation, but is a result of being saved.

My nephew said it this way: "Just when I think that I cannot go on, I look up and see Your cross."

And the writer of Hebrews says, "In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood." (Hebrews 12:4)

The trials and lessons of life are God's way of discipling us as His sons, Hebrews goes on to say. We are disciplined out of love, so that we won't be spoiled children.

What about you? Are you relearning a lesson you thought you'd learned? Don't lose heart. There is a point to this deja vu. He teaches us again, and He doesn't give up on us.

"Let us not get tired of doing what is good, for at the right time we will reap a harvest-if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9)

Motives

Recently, I asked God to open my eyes to sin in my life. I find the more I'm conscious of my own weaknesses, the greater my reliance on Him and, therefore, the greater freedom and peace I feel.

He answered.

It started out with a careless e-mail that infuriated a co-worker. Then, slowly, I began analysing why I went out of my way to tell people I was praying for them or even just going out of my way to listen. It made me feel good. I wanted to know why, so I began spying on myself.

My conclusion? I like to be liked. It's part of my personality, but others sometimes view it as a sign of spirituality. It isn't. I may die with the praise of my peers and reap silence before God.

Oswald Chambers said most of us don't act rude or say what we feel before others because we're cowards; we don't want to be disliked.

So is this revelation just one of depression; that what appears good is backed up by selfish and self-centred motivation? No, I don't think so.

When I realize my motives, I surrender them to God. I can't stop being friendly or trying to encourage others because my motives might not be pure (for I'm sure sometimes it is used and isn't backed by consciousness of me). I can and do realize with this revelation just how much I need a Saviour to save me from me and from sin.

Jesus paid my penalty once for all, but I still need Him to carry and cleanse me. This is part of the relationship. This is part of what theologians call "sanctification." I am saved from the penalty of my sins, but am still in the process of breaking sinful habits and becoming separated to God. The proof of the former is that I hate sinning.

This is where the freedom comes. I confess my sins, and God forgives me (1 John 1:9). I surrender my motives.

Paul says that none of us can truly know all the motives of the heart:
"I have a clear conscience, but that doesn't mean I have God's approval. It is the Lord who cross-examines me...He will also bring to light what is hidden in the dark and reveal people's motives..." (1 Corinthians 4:4-5)

The Psalmist says: "Who can notice every mistake? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep me from sinning. Do not let anyone gain control over me. Then I will be blameless, and I will be free from any great offense. May the words from my mouth and the thoughts from my heart be acceptable to you, O LORD, my rock and my defender." (Psalms 19:12-14)

Knowing my sin reminds me where my righteousness comes from. It is not an excuse to keep on sinning. It is an excuse to keep on reaching out to Jesus.

What about you? Do you have an area where others think you are good, but you have realized you do it for the wrong reasons?

It's freeing to let go of the facade and trust God.

What Are You Wishing For?

Does it seem right now that what you would like most, what seems good, what you're wishing for is completely out of reach? Sometimes even when it feels like God has been opening pathways in the right direction, you still wind up in a giant field at a dead end?

I was reminded tonight of a passage I love, but am continually in need of learning.

"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I love God's patience with me. It's funny and sad how I hate giving that patience back to Him when He says "wait."

Do you have something you're holding back from God, afraid that He will say no? Let's trust Him, ignore our doubt, and follow in the way we know will please Him. If you have never given Him your heart, well, that's the place to start.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." ~Jim Elliot

What is your worth?

I love to watch sparrows. They hide in the bush outside my front window and set my cats to cackling. They fight over feed in my backyard, little comprehending the strength their unity could have against the bully blue jays and starlings.

Months back, I heard a thud at my front door and saw a hawk fly away. Peering from the window, I saw a motionless feathered bundle. It didn't take long to realize life had left my poor little friend.

Have you ever held a sparrow? Yes, they may be common, but they are beautifully designed. Death is part of life, and yet it still seems so unnatural when death masks a face that moments before life animated.

My heart grieved for the loss of life and beauty, but a comfort came remembering Jesus words in Matthew 10:29-31.

"Aren't two sparrows sold for a penny? Not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father's permission. Every hair on your head has been counted. Don't be afraid! You are worth more than many sparrows."

God also grieves the necessity of death that sin brought into the world. Yet it does not happen haphazard. God is still in control, and, what's even greater, He cares what happens to you and me. He knows us so intimately that He has numbered every hair on our heads.

If you've grown up hearing this, it may sound cliche'. But think about it. Who else loves you that much?

Next time you see a sparrow, remember: God is watching over you in love, and you can trust Him with your life, because He holds it.

Hiraeth

I have a new favourite word.

I became acquainted with a singer, who, unbeknown to me, is also one of my brother's favourite tenors--Bryn Terfel. The title song is We'll Keep a Welcome. In this sentimental piece, he sings of welcoming home someone, who has been away, and kissing "away each hour of hiraeth."

Hiraeth is a Welsh word for longing. The way it is described in books and definitions make it clear it is not a simple wish or an inconsistent desire, but a deep, insatiable longing. A longing only fulfilled by coming home.

We all have hiraeth. C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien, in their conversations together, concluded these longings are a result of our being "exiled from Eden." Our roots were planted in a perfect garden. We have been exiled from that paradise, but we can have hope for another.

Sadly, for those who get through life as best they can--this is it. The hiraeth will be eternal and worse.

We accrued a debt in Eden. This debt was too large for us to pay. The debt of sin. Jesus paid this debt, but it is only received by those who will accept the payment written in His blood. If we snub His gift, we will pay our own debt. And, what we were created for, what the longing inside of you is reaching for, will never be touched.

If, however, you accept the payment, you have a promise of something greater than earth's small pleasures. No matter how many small longings are fulfilled today or tomorrow, there will always be that one deep-rooted hiraeth. That longing for a Home, where all traces of sorrow, pain, parting, and craving will be satisfied. When we look on the face of the One who we have longed for all our life, then, and only then, will every hiraeth of our heart be kissed away.

Whatever your hiraeth is today, you may find temporary fulfillment in what you think you want, but the longing will not die away completely while in exile.

As the chorus of the song "Finally Home" describes it:

Just think of stepping on shore,

and finding it heaven

Of touching a hand,

and finding it God's

Of breathing new air,

and finding it celestial

Of waking up in Glory,

and finding it Home.

The Puzzle

Today I pulled out a puzzle and began the process of piecing it together.

Have you ever noticed how many times the shapes fool you? You think for certain you've found the perfect match. You put it in, hardly noticing there is a little stiffness in the fit. Suddenly, you find the real location for the piece. You have to wrench it out to put it where it belongs.

Unlike us, God knows where each of the pieces of life should fit. As you lay down one small decision after another, Jesus knows the whole picture you can't see.

You may think you've found the perfect fit. If you're determined enough, you may even make something work by pushing your will, cutting corners, ignoring patterns. The problem is, this mars the perfect picture. God can forgive and complete a plan for your life, but you'll always bear the scars of the wrong fit.

Whatever choices you're facing now--whether it's a job or a house that seems built out of dreams or someone you've met who seems made for you--remember to check with the Artist of your life. Don't force events, but pray, wait, and only act as God leads. It may seem to your mind that you know the solution, but wait on God's timing and seek His will.

Nothing is a good substitute for the best fit.

Do You Want to Be Happy?

A friend sent me a link to a discussion on NPR (National Public Radio) regarding happiness. Part of the program was an analysis of a group of students from a prestigious university. They studied their lives from graduation through various stages of their lives (some to the end). Many of these students may be said to have been born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Most have lived unhappy, if not tragic, lives. Why?

The program seemed to conclude that when we pursue happiness, we fall short of finding it. But when we strive, instead, for a fulfilling life (although definitions varied), often happiness follows. Working diligently, partaking in moderation, enduring trials, and nurturing good relationships became the pillars the specialists surmised as the means of finding this satisfaction.

To these experts, this is a new discovery. To those of us familiar with the Bible, this is very old news.

Regarding relationships and hard work, the Bible says: "Enjoy life with the wife of your youth, all the days of your fleeting life that He has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might..." Ecclesiastes 9:9-10

Moderation: "And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit..." Ephesians 5:18

Enduring trials: "The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. It is better for a man to hear the rebuke of the wise than to hear the song of fools." Ecclesiastes 7:4-5

These are just a few of the many verses that discuss our pursuit and focus in life, on what brings ultimate satisfaction.

Ironically, as the Bible has said for thousands of years and as mankind discovers and rediscovers (and forgets), it is not in aiming for what we want that we find happiness, but in aiming for what is right that we find what we have always wanted.

The most important aim, only alluded to in NPR's analysis, is this:
"The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with ever secret thing, whether good or evil." Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

C.S. Lewis said, and he sums this up perfectly:
"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither."

Who is Your God?

Starting as a teenager, I have seen an obvious tendency in my own life toward idolatry. No, I've never set up an image and bowed down to it; I've never placed food out for some tangible or intangible idol, but I have worshipped in the temple of my heart images other than God.

Some may think I'm overreacting. The USA is quite liberal in her use of the term idol, with such shows as American Idol. Is all this wrong?

It's all about the heart. God has used symbols, He has used practices, He has used music, He has used wide varieties of things in the past that people still use, but with which we break His heart. Why? Because of our hearts.

In the midst of God's use of the sacrificial system to point to Jesus as the Lamb to come and take away our sin, the Psalmist wrote,

"In sacrifice and offering You have not delighted, but You have given me an open ear. Burnt offering and sin offering You have not required. Then I said, 'Behold, I have come...I delight to do Your will, O my God; Your law is within my heart.'" Psalm 40:6-8

The psalm had a broader reference than just the Psalmist, but I believe it was the reflection of God's true desire. He wants our heart. Yes, He wants obedience, but not just the outward display. He wants an obedience that flows out of love.

What started me thinking on this was a quote of Augustine's that a friend of mine posted this week: "He loves Thee too little who loves anything together with Thee, which he loves not for Thy sake."

Augustine cut at the heart of my struggle. It's not that I replace God, in my own thinking, but that I place another person, idea, priority on the same level. I may pray and spend time with God. Then realize this other god is vying for thoughts and emotions. These times prove to me that I love Him "too little."

I need to learn a love of God that is supreme above other loves, to learn to love everyone--family, friends, etc--FOR THE SAKE of Christ and not the perceived merits of that person.

My mental preacher tells me how things should be, but mind over emotions is tiring.

So, what about you? What is it that distracts you from loving God with all your heart? Is it your own ambitions? Someone else? Dreams? Disappointments? Fears?

Unfortunately, none of us are immune from the struggle. Fortunately, we can have victory.

Spiritual Lessons from My Cat

My cat, Chiara, just turned ten this year. Throughout her life, I have contemplated some of the interesting things she's taught me about myself and my walk with God. Two lessons come to mind now.

While Chiara was young, I had her spayed and declawed. She, of course, could not understand why I was taking her and leaving her at that scary, strange place full of pain and dangerous smells. I assured her it would be alright. When I picked her up the next day, she was a bit sick, but very affectionate.

As I thought about how horrible it must have seemed that I caused this pain by bringing her there, and then her sweet acceptance and trust of me after, I thought about my own reaction to trials. I doubt I often accept them, at least at first, with such trust in the righteous wisdom of my Master. Instinctively, I think I'm getting a bum rap. Then I remember exactly who I am and who He is; although, my emotions take longer to bring into check. How wonderful it would be if I could trust His hand as He places me in surgery. And, as I heal, praise Him for His goodness, even though I may not know the reason for the pain.

Also in Chiara's young life, I had a couple occasions where I lost my temper with her. She is a very vocal cat. Sleeping and driving were the times she tried my patience and found them wanting. I yelled at her and picked her up. She cowered. I still feel sick when I jokingly say something to her in a tone that she takes as angry, and she flinches. What amazes me, though, is how she trusts me still. She would allow me to do most anything with her. She greets me at the door when I come home, follows me around the house, brings me her toys to throw, sleeps with me, and wants to always be near me.

Although a vastly imperfect analogy, her forgiveness reminds me both of God's forgiveness and the kind of forgiveness we are told to give. Although lashed out at, misunderstood, misrepresented, etc., when we seek His forgiveness, God does not keep bringing up our past. He is eager to forgive the truly repentant. Not just forgive, but He trusts us again, as we follow Him, with His Word and His testimony. Then, He asks us to give the same forgiveness to each other.

If you have fallen, don't stay there. Confess your sins to God and leave them with Him. If someone has hurt you, remember the sins God could list to your account, but instead He forgave. If you're going through a painful time, trust God that the surgery is necessary and for your good, even if you don't ever know why.

Enduring the Heat

One of my greatest weaknesses in tests of endurance is the nagging question "how long?" If I can see an end, I can force my emotions, my will to push a little longer. If I can't, I have sometimes stopped at the threshold of the finish line.

As I've thought about how I can direct my focus to my eternal target, I have often contemplated how martyrs do it, going to the death through some gruesome method. In reading Psalm 74 this week, I wondered if their lessons may have consisted of similar disciplines learned long before the trial.

Asaph, the Psalmist, wails over Israel's defeat by her enemies. He goes into details for the first nine verses of the destruction, calling God to turn His "steps toward these everlasting ruins."

In verse ten, Asaph asks my question: "How long...?" and "Why do you hold back your hand...?"

This is where the lesson begins. In verse twelve, Asaph remembers:
Yet God my King is from of old, working salvation in the midst of the earth.

Asaph reminisces God's faithfulness in the past. He recounts times when God did big and awesome things, as well His daily provisions and power that he may have taken for granted.

With this track record, Asaph pleads with God to be faithful to His covenant, to act justly, to defend the defenseless, to honor His name.

Jeremiah 31:31 says that God has made a new covenant with us, one dealing with our hearts. Hebrews 12:24 explains further that Jesus is the mediator of this covenant, which is sealed by His blood.

For those who have accepted God's covenant with us, when you are going through times where your heart is aching, your health is failing, and the future looks grim, keep recalling God's faithfulness; remember the big things He has done, but don't forget the spring flowers, the beautiful sunset, the laughter of children, the feel of the breeze. He has been faithful to you. You can trust Him with the "how long?"

For those who are winging it through life, blindly feeling about for the path, He says, "'In a favorable time I listened to you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you.' Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation." (2 Corinthians 6:2)

To have hope, you must start with the Hope-Giver. There is no true and lasting hope outside of Jesus. Accept, remember, and don't let anyone forget.

A Tribute to My Roommate

I learned many things in college. One expects to, of course, but I found I learned as much outside of the classroom and books, as inside. One of my most important lessons came through my roommate, Karli.

Karli and I were roommate my first full year away at school and were from very different backgrounds, as well as personalities. Early on, we had a fairly bitter argument over doctrines of the end times. I realized later that our ignorance made us passionate about our own view. Our fear of losing made us dogmatic without reason.

Thankfully, it did not take us too long to realize that the doctrines we clung to had valid points on both sides and wishing our own viewpoint to be the truth did not make us right. We agreed on the essentials that Scripture makes black and white--Jesus: God's Son, our Saviour. We agreed He is coming again at an unknown hour to take us Home, if we are His and remain alive. And, we discovered, that it was our hearts and our love for one another that He cared for more than whether the I's were dotted correctly and our T's crossed.

We remained roommates till we graduated. One of the things I admire most about Karli is her open, loving heart. I still have lessons from her I need to learn today, but am thankful for those years and the lesson to not let the little things divide what the essential truths in Jesus would unite.

What Do I Do with This Hope?

Normally, we think of hope in a good sense. And, it is, properly applied. But, what do you do with hope that creeps in and is unassigned, as it were; it's too early to label it good or bad?

Obviously, this comes from some thinking I've been doing lately. A hope has awakened that is, in itself, neither good nor bad. It is just hope. I feel like I've been holding it in my hand, analyzing it. Should I crush it? Should I nurture it? With it comes fear. If it is not something that may be reality, I fear the heart sickness of hope deferred (Proverbs 13:12).

I'd have to say, overall, I'm a fairly contented person. I easily entertain myself, I'm happy in solitude or in the company of good friends or co-workers. That's why when this sleeping giant, that I thought might actually be dead, awakens, it disrupts my whole life. This time it is based on a more real hope than I have possibly ever known.

So this is what it came down to: I was counseled, indeed I counseled myself as well, to trust in God. He (of course, He does!) has the best in mind for me. If He doesn't want it, logically, I wouldn't want it either. Right? Emotionally, however...

C.S. Lewis is quoted as saying, “We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” More and more I relate to the man in the New Testament that said to Jesus, "I believe, help my unbelief."

I find I'm more complex then I thought. My motives are never fully clear, even when I think I know them. I'm comforted that David, Paul, and others in the Bible also discovered this about their own hearts.

In Psalm 19:12, David said, "Who can discern his errors? Clear me from hidden faults."

Paul concurred, "My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me....He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts..." 1 Corinthians 4:4, 5

So, though I trust God, I find, at the same time, a battle to trust Him. If you have lived long, you will probably relate. I believe that at the end of the day, what He wills is exactly what I would want. Yet, what do I do with this hope? Do I trust God that the hope is good and will be fulfilled?

No. I must trust God to be God. That's all. I hold out my hand and place my hope in Him, in His eternal, unchanging character. At the end of time, it will not matter so much if circumstances worked out as I dreamed. It will matter who God is and where I stand with Him.

It's easier said, than done, as the saying goes. The prayers of friends are priceless. I asked, and they have prayed for me to let go and let God.

Tonight, I have peace. Where is my hope? At this moment, as far as it depends on me, it is in the Hands of my Father. He holds my hope as He holds my life. I'll let Him worry about my tomorrow, while I go to sleep tonight.

Where is Your Faith?

So many good lessons taught today about Truth, prayer, and the use of the tongue. Now to process and apply. Not so easy.

Pastor Rich shared something this morning that I had never seen in this way before. He said that Christianity is the only "religion" in the world that is not culturally based: Hinduism & Buddhism are essentially culturally based in Asia; Judaism, Israel; Islam, Arab countries; Catholicism, Italy; Mormonism, America...

Arab nations consider America and Western Europe "Christian." Interestingly, I have heard many Americans balking about not being called a Christian nation anymore, and, yet, Christianity has never had a national identity. Even when it was birthed in the heart of Israel, the Jews who were saved were scattered all over the world, from many different locations and languages.

"We talk about a Christian nation--there has never been such a thing. There are Christians in the nations, but not Christian nations." ~Oswald Chambers

God has revealed Himself to humans, but since the Fall, we are naturally inclined to create our own traditions, philosophies, and culturally-based religions.

"For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them.

"For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.

"For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things." (Rom 1:19-23)

But God has pointed out to us from the beginning that Jesus Christ is the basis of our relationship to God (read Isaiah 42:1-9).

In light of this, it is interesting that many hate Christianity and call those who adhere to the Bible's teachings, bigots. I suspect it is because they have either never seen a true Christian who lives out the teachings of the Bible or they have chosen to be ignorant.

The Gospel of Christ is the only call that goes out to people of every race, creed, colour, and sex and says that we can come and be one family through Jesus Christ. It isn't based on how smart you are, what education you've had, what connections, what talents...It is all centred on confessing faith in Jesus' payment for our sin. To me, that is inclusive.

Yet it is exclusive. The way to God is narrow (Matthew 7:13-14). It is only through Jesus that we may come (John 14:6), because the basis of all true faith is founded on Him.

The road of deception is broad. Many will choose to follow their own beliefs, traditions, cultural allegiances, and philosophies. Yet, God's call is to "as many as receive Him to them He gives the right to be called Sons of God."

If true faith is based on Jesus Christ, who is revealed in the Bible, how true is your faith? Do you trust your own philosophies, the traditions of your church, the beliefs of your parents, your own experiences?

Experiences, philosophies, cultures, and opinions are born and destroyed. God's Word will never pass away.

Life is short. Don't put it off.

How Bad is Bad?

I was reading this morning in the book of Genesis. I have read these passages over many times, but this time something hit me in a new way.

"The LORD saw how great man's wickedness on earth had become, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The LORD was grieved that He made man on the earth, and His heart was filled with pain." Genesis 6:5-6

The idea of God's heart being "filled with pain" is what struck me. It took on new meaning, especially in light of many who say that all should be saved, that there are many ways to God, and that God would not condemn someone to Hell because of that one's rejection of Jesus.

I've heard it before, but it just was so clear. Our understanding of God is so microscopic that we cannot comprehend how incredibly ugly and revolting our sin is.

If God was not love, our sin would merely give Him reason to wipe us off the earth and forget. Instead, because He is love, His heart fills with pain at our unbelief, at our making up our own set of standards, and ignoring what He shed His blood for us to see.

In Genesis, God looked for any way to save mankind without compromising His holiness. When He found one man who feared Him and desired to obey, He gave that man, Noah, time to build a boat and the specifications. Before the flood filled the earth, God shut the door with His own hand and saved Noah, his whole family, and at least two of every animal.

This salvation, like the sacrifices the Israelites gave for thousands of years, were just temporary fixes for an immediate problem. The saving was physical and symbolic. Both pointed to the one day when God would send His Son to be crucified.

Oswald Chambers said, "Jesus Christ hates the wrong in man and Calvary is the estimate of His hatred." Instead of taking His hatred of sin out on the sinners, who have broken His heart, God paid the price.

This is what makes rejection of Jesus so horrible. He has withheld judgement on me and you, because He is giving us a chance to accept a payment that cost the life of a Perfect man, God in flesh. It took God to be perfect; it took flesh to die. If you and I will not accept this unfathomable grace that would take our punishment, then we must face our punishment--forever separated from God.

If you argue for those who have never heard, God, who is rich in mercy, knows what it takes to show them Jesus. He has sent many missionaries in to the heart of jungles and isolated villages. Sometimes they are surprised to find the people expecting them.

God is not unjust. He promises to make us each responsible for the truth that we are given. You can be sure that what breaks His heart will never be allowed into His Kingdom.

If He did not love you, Jesus would not have died. You would have been punished without mercy, only justice.

Because He loves you, you have the choice to break His heart and reap the fruit of your sin. Or, you may accept His payment and reap the fruit of His love.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

It is your only life. How will you use it?

Staying Afloat

Regardless of whether or not you can swim, in the middle of the ocean when the boat capsizes, it is imperative you have something to cling to.

Life is a similar ocean. The economy, job loss, death, fire...so many things can sink the boat of circumstance. Something to hold you up is just as imperative in the ocean of life as in the physical ocean.

If you grab on to a talent, an experience, a person, you may be just prolonging the struggle to keep your head above water. An accident can take your ability to do what you enjoy, a person may leave, and other things, such as alcohol, that numb the pain for a while become a whirlpool beneath you, pulling you down.

If you want something that will outlast the storms and bring you safely to the other side, there is only one Saviour. If you know Him, it is a daily choice to look to Him to strengthen you and lift you up.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." Hebrews 12:2a

If you don't know Him, on what are you placing your hope? Is it something that will hold up through sickness, financial ruin, rejection, loss? Anything that gives you merely good feelings when the sun is shining or a distraction when the pain is great, will not be enough to carry you when emotions numb and things go dark.

It's your life. Make certain your hope is sure.

What Would You Die For?

Most of my life I have wondered if I would have courage to die for what I believe. I have honored heroes who have. I wonder the point they crossed, the thought, the reason that made life so small and the unseen so...worth everything.

Someone once said that dying for what you believe is easier than living for it. I think there may be truth there. But I'd take it one step farther. I say, unless you live for what you believe, you can never die for it.

It is so easy in the day to day mundane tasks to lose sight of the important for the urgent, to compromise in the small things until you have moved so far from the goal you don't know who you are anymore or where you are going. Or, maybe you have never known...

"How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to Your Word.
With my whole heart I seek You; let me not wander from Your commandments!
I have stored up Your Word in my heart, that I might not sin against You....

"I am a sojourner on the earth; hide not Your commandments from me!....

"Even though princes sit plotting against me, Your servant will meditate on Your statutes.

"Your testimonies are my delight; they are my counselors.
My soul clings to the dust; give me life according to Your word!...

"My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to Your Word!

"Put false ways far from me and graciously teach me Your law!
I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I set Your verdicts before me.
I cling to Your testimonies, O Yahweh; let me not be put to shame!

"I will run in the path of Your commandments for You have set my heart free!

"Teach me, O Yahweh, the way of your statutes; and I will keep it to the end.
Give me understanding, that I may keep Your law and observe it with my whole heart...

"Incline my heart to Your testimonies, and not to selfish gain!
Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in Your ways....

"Let Your steadfast love come to me, O Yahweh, Your salvation according to Your promise;
then shall I have an answer for him who taunts me, for I trust in Your Word....

"I will also speak of Your testimonies before kings and shall not be put to shame,
for I find my delight in Your commandments, which I love....

"This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your promise gives me life."
(Psa 119:9-50)

Is there anything for which you would die?

I Love the Idea of You

In February, I was in a play where I met a new friend of mine. Harmlessly flirtatious, "J" often missed cues because he was busy teasing the women backstage. Because of my frequent sarcasm, "J" fluctuated between charm and sarcasm in his interaction with me. One day, after he had a bout of charm, he started in on the sarcasm. I reminded him that he loved me the day before. "I was in love with the idea of you," he said.


All this was, of course, in jest, but the phrase struck me. It's so true. I wonder how often I "love the idea" of someone more than who they are. When love is put to the test--the wrong temper, disappointing action, hurtful words--I may find the emotion dissipates and the "love" is gone. Sweet was the idea of love, but no follow through.

A song by DC Talk points out that love is a verb: "Words come easy but don't mean much/ When the words they're sayin we can't put trust in/ Were talkin 'bout love in a different light/ And if we all learn to love it would be just right."

In Sonnet 116, Shakespeare says, "Love is not love/ Which alters when it alteration finds,/ Or bends with the remover to remove."

Even more clearly, the Apostle Paul breaks it down to actions: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.

"It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends..." (1Co 13:4-8)

I have only ever experienced this unconditional love from God, the Source of real love.

This is the type of love I desire to exhibit to my friends and family: to see their failings, but as no worse than my own; to be hurt by them, but to remember that I have hurt, knowingly or unknowingly, too many times to count; to reach out to them (these are the hard ones for me) when they do not reach out for me; and to be willing to be rejected, to do what is best for them.

The Ultimate Love is Jesus: "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) And He did.

What about you? Do you love people or do you just love the idea of them? If you're like me, it may fluctuate day by day, minute by minute, but the source always stays the same.

Don't Forget Your Mind

I went to see some friends perform in a play based on The Screwtape Letters. The script well represented C.S. Lewis's book and the essay Screwtape Proposes a Toast. It reminded me again, with Lewis' usual combination of wit and truth, of the subtleties of sin.

The demon Screwtape explains to Wormwood, the younger demon, that truth isn't to be avoided, but twisted. It is much more efficient to block the human ears to what he doesn't wish to believe than to constantly be whispering lies to him.

A follower on Twitter--Bob--illustrated this idea very clearly this week (for those who don't understand Twitter, think of it as being like what used to be status--now "What's on Your Mind?"--updates on Facebook, but more frequent).

I posted a link to an article our ministry wrote about why God allows evil. Bob responded that it was simple logic: 1) God doesn't exist. 2) Evil is only in the mind of Christians.

I asked him if he didn't believe murder to be wrong. He tried to dodge the question with all sorts of rabbit trails, but eventually agreed to a definition of murder as the taking of a human life that cannot defend his- or herself. He said it wasn't okay, but he would do it if he was willing to take the consequences. He also added that he didn't believe it was evil. "Murder is murder," he concluded.

Then Bob brought God and Jesus into his arguments. I reminded him that he did not believe in God.

Bob said he had read the Bible. I told him I was glad, because it is good to know what you believe and why. I have read it for about 27 years. If what I believe about its truth is wrong, I have lost a false peace. If what he believes is wrong, he loses everything.

He then quoted a verse, obviously twisting it, as a comeback to my statement. When I smiled and pointed to his taking it out of context, he agreed, but said he believes that's how Jesus meant it.

Finally, I asked him who he thought Jesus was. He said, "Jesus is who he claimed to be." Our conversation ended when I asked him who Jesus claimed to be.

Bob wanted to believe the Gospels about Jesus, but did not want to accept any of Paul's writings. He, of course, failed to understand that Jesus did not write anything about himself. The writers were eyewitnesses or wrote down the statements from eyewitnesses to Jesus' life. Paul, likewise, wrote as God revealed to him. This was accepted by believers at the time these men lived and have been passed down together for nearly 2000 years.

Bob is just one of many who sample religions like dishes at a smorgasbord. They believe they can gather truths and create a religion comfortable to their lifestyle. What they fail to understand, for one thing, is the founders of each religion would never assent to the points of another. Buddha claimed there is no God; enlightenment comes from within oneself. Muhammad tried to kill the Jews and Christians that would not convert to his belief in Allah. And more isolating than all the rest is Jesus statement: "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Every religion, except the Bible, gives you a chance to have pride in your own accomplishments, to gain the right to heaven, to balance evil with good. The Bible says, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God;" "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord;" and "Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He has saved us... not by works lest any one should boast."

Atheists, though too simplistic, at least try to balance their unbelief with an effort at logic. Smorgasbord religionists ignore their minds almost completely in their attempt to sample only what they like or feel.

God asks us to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Do you know what and why you believe what you do? It is equally as dangerous to avoid the mind as it is to avoid the heart. Don't forget to think.

The Imprisonment of Freedom

I finished reading Crime & Punishment this evening. I must confess, had a friend with excellent literary taste not raved about how good it is, I may have been tempted to stop in the first chapters.

The book does not make good bedtime material. The intense internal struggles begin as depressing, move to desperate, and then weave amongst mystery, suspense, intrigue, discovery, despair, and hope.

Fyodor Dostoevsky is a master at storytelling with depth. He does not just tell you the state of human affairs, he causes you to experience the enslavement to such a point that you suddenly realize the mirror you are peering into.

The murderer mentality appears as a foreign thought process to most readers or at least on the surface. Character Raskolnikov's rationalization of his crime, his belief that his only mistake was in lacking the nerve to carry his plan to fruition, and that the end would justify the means if he had succeeded...these thoughts are much closer to the views expressed on the news for varying degrees of crimes.

If these ideas are unfamiliar to you, perhaps you might relate in diverse extents to Svidrigailov. Passion drove Svidrigailov. Not passion for life but for lust. Addiction dictated his life, strangled any chance for love, and left him without hope.

The worst criminals in the story fluctuated between great acts of kindness and terror. The great acts flowed from need within themselves, but stopped miles away from being instigated by love. They needed to alleviate guilt, felt a compulsion or had an ulterior motive. The good they did never wiped out the evil for which they were capable. They knew that. That knowledge eventually lead to the drowning or birthing of hope.

Lest you think this book was 629 pages of depression in ink, Dostoevsky ends the tale with hope. He doesn't tie everything up with unrealistic rosy bows, but he shows the key that frees us from the imprisonment into which we are born; the imprisonment of slavery to passion, pride, greed... An imprisonment that destroys not just those enslaved, but everyone we touch. Slowly, sometimes imperceptibly, our own natures erode other people like water wearing away at rock.

The Apostle Paul sums in his letter to the Roman church:

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.

For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.

Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.

For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.

Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

(Rom 7:18-25a)

There is only one source for freedom. Freedom from Jesus means slavery to sin. Slavery to Jesus means freedom to live.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free, Paul tells the Galatians (5:1). Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Who are you living for? You or Jesus? It is a matter of death and life.

Uniquely You

Have you ever noticed that ultimately everyone who tries to be unique becomes a type of what we have seen elsewhere? A singer tries to be unique. He may have a new sound, but his life becomes a pattern of the lives of other singers or writers, actors or businessmen. In trying to break a mold, they become more and more like everyone else. They want to live the way they want to live, so they follow the patterns that others are following blatantly or secretly.

Professor Bruce Herman, in his lecture at Oxford in 2008, stated it this way: "This self-concept is actually more the sum of consumer choices than the wholesome identity one develops through a deep sense of belonging and accountability in community. And individualistic pursuit of self often results in isolation and anomie rather than meaning, belonging, and a sense of vocation.”

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." ~ Oscar Wilde

In one of his books, C.S. Lewis explained that the more we try to be originals, the more we become copies. It's as if, in the effort, we use our heads and create ourselves out of our environment and heredity, mimicking what we have known instead of becoming who we are created to be.

"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it," says Lewis. "[God] makes each soul unique. If He had no use for all these differences, I do not see why He should have created mores souls than one. Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you."

Seeking out the Creator may be the only way to become the true original masterpiece He created you to be.

"Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream." ~ Malcolm Muggeridge

If Looks Could Kill...

I listened to an interesting speaker, Collin Smith, on my way to church this evening. Truth be told, I listened mainly because of his Scottish accent.

It was only the last five or ten minutes, and Pastor Collin was speaking on the sixth commandment--"You shall not murder." We all have a tendency to think, "Phew! Safe on this one. I've never murdered anyone." He suggested that maybe the connotation is broader than we realize.

If broadened, Pastor Collin suggested that this could encompass a belittling comment, look, or gesture; anything that lessens the value of a person in someone else's eyes. Because every person is created in God's image, they have value. By putting them down, in a sense destroying their value, we are destroying someone in the image of God...murdering that image.

Pastor Collins is referring to Jesus statement in the Gospels:

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire. So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
(Mat 5:21-24)

Jesus takes the hurtful things we say or think about another person as very serious business. How serious do you take other people's reputations? I don't know about you, but I think I have some apologizing to do.

"If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." (Rom 12:18)

Listening: a thread or an iceburg?

A friend of mine and I recently chatted about the art of listening. We analyzed why a group of our new friends were unique in the way that they listened. We could all be in separate conversations and yet we knew what someone else from our group was saying. Even at a slight distance, our ears would pick up the sound of their voice and what they said. We didn't consciously choose; we almost couldn't help it.

Have you had people in your life like that? They have been rare in mine. I have many who hear me everyday, but few who take the time to listen. I've seen the vacancy in faces acknowleging my voice; their mind rushing through their own thoughts, ready for the next topic. I close my soul to them.

My friend and I likened the art of listening to someone picking up the end of a thread and following it to its source. In conversation, every sentence is just the tip of an iceburg. What is unsaid is fathoms deep compared with a comment. If you care about someone, you ache to know the depths of who they are. You are not content to take the face value. You don't want to just hear words, you want to hear them.

When was the last time someone listened to you, really listened? When was the last time you listened to someone else? Sometimes it comes as natural as breathing. Most of the time it takes effort. If you care about someone, savor not just the words they say, relish the person. This moment could be the last time you have to hear the sound of their voice, longings of their heart, whispers of their soul. Be still. Listen.

Twitter and Today

I recently joined Twitter.com. Twitter is a world unto itself. Language, traffic, characters uniquely evolve. Twitter is an interesting place to engage, to find out news before the rest of the world, to learn about what matters to people. If you engage in Twitter, you may become a trend setter, you can gain followers and brag about their numbers, you may gain a voice in which to influence the world. But, if you go silent, if you never log on again, your followers would soon go elsewhere, the tweeple will find others to listen to. In fact, if you are silent even a week or two, your influence will most likely decline and your place will be filled.

What is true in the Twitterverse is also true in the universe. We're only here for a short time. We may gain notice, influence, and pleasures of many kinds. But one day, we'll sign out of this universe and sign irrevocably into eternity. Though many will grieve your going and miss you, life will continue. It is today that counts. Today you make choices that will be treasure or regrets forever.

What are you doing today that will matter forever?

Life Map

A friend sent me a flair on Facebook that says, "My life has a superb cast, but I can't figure out the plot." If you are like most of us, you can relate to this. Most people don't know where their life is headed. A rare few feel called to do something in there life and, at least to us outsiders, it appears they follow the course to the end of their life.

I know. You may tell me God has the answers, that the Bible shows the way. I will agree with you. The Bible does show us the way to God and the way to life that pleases Him, but it stops short of explaining life, of showing us what we each should do with our life. It would be naive to think it did.

In Ecclesiastes, Solomon describes how he pursued life. He tried to find out what would make him happy, what would fulfill his craving to live a life of purpose. He describes a life most of us only dream about. He had pleasures at his fingertips. He built houses, vineyards, gardens, parks, pools, acquired possessions, whatever his "eyes desired." He also sought wisdom and God gave to him wisdom more than any other man. He, like we in our small way, found these pursuits, in themselves, empty, vain, void of lasting pleasure.

Solomon concludes his wrestling with the meaning of life by saying, "The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil." (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14)

It leaves me where I began. There are moments I wish I had a literal life map to follow. Sometimes I'm tired of the adventures of life as much as the mundane tasks.

Life is a mystery. It is meant to be lived fully. It's the prologue, but it sets the stage of life to come. The decisions you make in a moment will impact forever. But we don't have to go forth blindly. We have One who sees the end of our life, as well as beginning. In John 10:4 Jesus says, "When He puts forth His sheep, He goes before them, and the sheep follow Him for they know His voice."

To whose voice are you listening? Are you blindly going forth without a map or are you listening to the One who drew the map? There is a purpose. We don't know now, but we will.

Heaven

In some ways, I had almost an idyllic childhood or at least it looks that way in retrospect. Some of my best memories were in a very small town in Minnesota with my best friend living next door. He eventually moved.

Twenty-five years later, we reconnected via Facebook. He compared our childhood times to heaven: "The bliss and simple pleasure of swinging on a swing in the backyard on a summer day with my best friend, who I loved with absolutely no taint of the impurities and flaws that come later in life... I always think that that is what our lives will be like in heaven... yet enhanced because we will understand what we've lost and finally returned to."

Jesus said: "Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." Luke 18:17

Innocence characterizes childhood. Sadly, it quickly is destroyed in many children today. One definition of innocence is "freedom from guile, cunning, or deceit; simplicity or artlessness." Children are the first to tell you that you smell or are fat. They'll wrap their arms around your neck and tell you they love you. They will cry when they are sad. They laugh and skip and never worry about the eyes that follow them.

This past Christmas, a little four or five year old walked up in front of the church to sing. She tripped on the steps, but scrambled back up and performed. Watching her face, I could see she wasn't worried what we thought of her. I wonder if there is one adult in a million who could trip and not worry, even slightly, about his image.

I think it is their honesty about life and who they are and their simple trust to which God is referring when He invites us to come to Him like a child. Ignorance and foolishness also blind their understanding. But Jesus reveals this is not characteristic of His children: "...be wise as serpents and innocent as doves" Matthew 10:16. He does not ask us to shut off our brain, but to turn it on for Him.

What does all this have to do with heaven?

Charles Stanford said, "Heaven must be in me before I can be in heaven." This is the point Jesus was making when He said the pure in heart will see God (Matthew 5:8). Yet how can we return to the innocence of children? He explains that we must be born again, born a second time (John 3:1-21). When questioned about what this means, Jesus stated the most frequently quoted, yet poignant scripture: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
(Joh 3:16-17)

Heaven is still a distant place that each person will receive or reject forever before they die. Is heaven in you?

Imagine

Imagine a place where everyone is born colourblind. All the world looks black and white. A doctor comes from a distant place offering a surgery which would allow one to see colours. Most reject it. Not only does the risk of surgery seem foolish, but the desire for colour is incomprehensible. How can one explain green, yellow, and blue to one who knows only grey, white, and black? No desire can be aroused where there is no understanding of deficiency.

To me, this is the dilemma in spiritual vision. Many who have never read the Bible ignore or try to discredit it by what they have heard, know, or feel. The ocean and grass are black and the sun white because they have no comparison outside their own resources. To explain life only from what one thinks or feels is to credit oneself with complete understanding in which one is capable of judging all life's truths.

Proverbs 14:12 says, "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death."
Do you believe that in you lies sufficient knowledge? Or, are you willing to consider there may be reality outside your sphere of understanding?

God and Life

At the end of the book of Job, God addresses the questions raised about justice and Himself. Interestingly, He doesn't explain why horrible things happened to Job; He doesn't even comfort him. God merely points to His own intimate knowledge and control of every aspect of creation; then He asks Job if he considers Him injustice.

Many have analyzed this story. Many theories have been written about why God responds to these five people the way He does. The thing most striking to me, however, was how God held them accountable for what they said and did after they were confronted by Him. Not that He didn't care what went on before, but a change of heart in every one of them is what He sought. Only Job responded with spontaneous confession when his focus was changed from himself to God.

Many suffer all over the world every second of every day. We may ask why, but until it is our community, our friend, our loved one, we don't often ask with passion. When pain hits home, that is when questions often change from why suffering to who is God and is He someone I want to know? "We receive His blessings and know His word, but do we know Him?" author Oswald Chambers questions.

One of the greatest fears of my adult life has been the fear of grief. I have had a comfortable life, and yet have experienced occasions of internal pain, grief that felt like it would suffocate me, sorrow that felt so heavy that death was more welcome than living that way. Thankfully, the grief did not remain so intense, either because it was not tied to anything tangible or because the sorrow came over time in different ways. Some grief is like chronic pain; it is possible to go through a day or longer unaware that you feel pain until something happens that either intensifies the pain or reminds you of it. What I have experienced is no worse than anyone's experience who lives into adulthood. On the contrary, it is better than most. I internalize more and am intensely conscious of thoughts and feelings.

But it is this awareness of the intensity of grief which causes me to struggle to not give in to fear. I have often questioned my own allegiance to God. Is it built on the basis of what He has done for me? Is it contingent on what He will continue to do for me? Or is it based on a relationship, on years of spending time with Him? Is He strong enough to bear my grief when all other hope in this life has died? Can He carry me in victory to the grave?

I doubt myself more than anything. I cling to His promise that He has begun a good work in me and He will accomplish it completely on the day Yeshua the Messiah returns (Php 1:6). I say to Him when I am most scared, "I trust You."

Silence

When was the last time you sat in silence for a length of time? If you are one of the few who pursue it, you will find it...addicting. No, it isn't easy to sit for hours and ponder, to not talk or activate some noise-maker. It's not that silence is addicting in the way that it is unavoidable or impossible to stop, but it stirs something within, a type of hunger. Maybe it's just the realization of a hunger there all the time but too quiet to hear amidst life's clatter.

Silence is often the place we see our faces in the inner mirror; it's hard to ignore imperfection when you're alone with it. It's also where the full effects of grief are unavoidable; there is nothing there to drown it out; it must be experienced. If loss is great in silence, how much more potent is joy? I wonder if the truly joyful ones in this world are those who learn not just to talk to God, but to sit with Him in silence; to listen.

Silence isn't a lack of noise: a car drives by, a heater runs, water drips. Even in the most silent places on earth there is white noise; that noise your ear insists on hearing. It's not so important to eliminate all the noise around as it is to eliminate the noise within.

In the book of Job, Job's friends stayed for seven days in silence grieving with him. Was this common amongst the ancients or did they find it difficult to not launch immediately into their quick answers, trite comforts, and ignorant speeches?

In the early days of the church, more than now, silence was a discipline. Some of the greatest historical writings were conceived and birthed in closed rooms, prison cells, or death chambers. Speech meant more to the people who had spent deep hours pondering Scripture, listening to God, recognizing themselves.

I wonder how many books, speeches, or songs mass produced in the stores today will endure. How many, if the world lasts a hundred years from now, will look back on our century and find anything of depth worth savoring or preserving?