Uniquely You

Have you ever noticed that ultimately everyone who tries to be unique becomes a type of what we have seen elsewhere? A singer tries to be unique. He may have a new sound, but his life becomes a pattern of the lives of other singers or writers, actors or businessmen. In trying to break a mold, they become more and more like everyone else. They want to live the way they want to live, so they follow the patterns that others are following blatantly or secretly.

Professor Bruce Herman, in his lecture at Oxford in 2008, stated it this way: "This self-concept is actually more the sum of consumer choices than the wholesome identity one develops through a deep sense of belonging and accountability in community. And individualistic pursuit of self often results in isolation and anomie rather than meaning, belonging, and a sense of vocation.”

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." ~ Oscar Wilde

In one of his books, C.S. Lewis explained that the more we try to be originals, the more we become copies. It's as if, in the effort, we use our heads and create ourselves out of our environment and heredity, mimicking what we have known instead of becoming who we are created to be.

"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it," says Lewis. "[God] makes each soul unique. If He had no use for all these differences, I do not see why He should have created mores souls than one. Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you."

Seeking out the Creator may be the only way to become the true original masterpiece He created you to be.

"Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream." ~ Malcolm Muggeridge

If Looks Could Kill...

I listened to an interesting speaker, Collin Smith, on my way to church this evening. Truth be told, I listened mainly because of his Scottish accent.

It was only the last five or ten minutes, and Pastor Collin was speaking on the sixth commandment--"You shall not murder." We all have a tendency to think, "Phew! Safe on this one. I've never murdered anyone." He suggested that maybe the connotation is broader than we realize.

If broadened, Pastor Collin suggested that this could encompass a belittling comment, look, or gesture; anything that lessens the value of a person in someone else's eyes. Because every person is created in God's image, they have value. By putting them down, in a sense destroying their value, we are destroying someone in the image of God...murdering that image.

Pastor Collins is referring to Jesus statement in the Gospels:

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire. So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
(Mat 5:21-24)

Jesus takes the hurtful things we say or think about another person as very serious business. How serious do you take other people's reputations? I don't know about you, but I think I have some apologizing to do.

"If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." (Rom 12:18)

Listening: a thread or an iceburg?

A friend of mine and I recently chatted about the art of listening. We analyzed why a group of our new friends were unique in the way that they listened. We could all be in separate conversations and yet we knew what someone else from our group was saying. Even at a slight distance, our ears would pick up the sound of their voice and what they said. We didn't consciously choose; we almost couldn't help it.

Have you had people in your life like that? They have been rare in mine. I have many who hear me everyday, but few who take the time to listen. I've seen the vacancy in faces acknowleging my voice; their mind rushing through their own thoughts, ready for the next topic. I close my soul to them.

My friend and I likened the art of listening to someone picking up the end of a thread and following it to its source. In conversation, every sentence is just the tip of an iceburg. What is unsaid is fathoms deep compared with a comment. If you care about someone, you ache to know the depths of who they are. You are not content to take the face value. You don't want to just hear words, you want to hear them.

When was the last time someone listened to you, really listened? When was the last time you listened to someone else? Sometimes it comes as natural as breathing. Most of the time it takes effort. If you care about someone, savor not just the words they say, relish the person. This moment could be the last time you have to hear the sound of their voice, longings of their heart, whispers of their soul. Be still. Listen.