I Love the Idea of You

In February, I was in a play where I met a new friend of mine. Harmlessly flirtatious, "J" often missed cues because he was busy teasing the women backstage. Because of my frequent sarcasm, "J" fluctuated between charm and sarcasm in his interaction with me. One day, after he had a bout of charm, he started in on the sarcasm. I reminded him that he loved me the day before. "I was in love with the idea of you," he said.


All this was, of course, in jest, but the phrase struck me. It's so true. I wonder how often I "love the idea" of someone more than who they are. When love is put to the test--the wrong temper, disappointing action, hurtful words--I may find the emotion dissipates and the "love" is gone. Sweet was the idea of love, but no follow through.

A song by DC Talk points out that love is a verb: "Words come easy but don't mean much/ When the words they're sayin we can't put trust in/ Were talkin 'bout love in a different light/ And if we all learn to love it would be just right."

In Sonnet 116, Shakespeare says, "Love is not love/ Which alters when it alteration finds,/ Or bends with the remover to remove."

Even more clearly, the Apostle Paul breaks it down to actions: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.

"It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends..." (1Co 13:4-8)

I have only ever experienced this unconditional love from God, the Source of real love.

This is the type of love I desire to exhibit to my friends and family: to see their failings, but as no worse than my own; to be hurt by them, but to remember that I have hurt, knowingly or unknowingly, too many times to count; to reach out to them (these are the hard ones for me) when they do not reach out for me; and to be willing to be rejected, to do what is best for them.

The Ultimate Love is Jesus: "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) And He did.

What about you? Do you love people or do you just love the idea of them? If you're like me, it may fluctuate day by day, minute by minute, but the source always stays the same.