What About Me?

FOCUS
I remember once as a child asking God for something and using as my bargaining tool (whether or not it helped) that I rarely asked for anything for myself. Well my prayers have changed. I still love to pray for others, but find my mind often jumping back to my own heart-concerns or desires in the midst of my intercession.

Don't get me wrong. Sharing our burdens with the Lord is one of the things we're admonished throughout Scripture to do (Psalm 37:5, Psalm 55:22, Proverbs 16:3, Matthew 6:25-34, 1 Peter 5:7). It's just a matter of focus. And my focus is frequently off.

WHO'S IT ALL ABOUT?
John the Baptist's disciples were like me. When they baptized repentant Jews at the river and looked across at the crowd Jesus drew to be baptized, they complained to John. Instead of joining them in worrying about his declining position, John simple stated—

"He must become greater; I must become less." ~John 3:30

Jesus Himself did not come seeking the comforts, rewards, or accolades of this life. He told one would-be follower that He had "no place to lay His head." He knew that He was commissioned here for a short while and for a unique purpose. Even in this knowledge, He declared proudly His complete dependence on God the Father.

"I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by Himself; He can do only what He sees His Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does....for I seek not to please Myself but Him who sent Me. ~John 5:19, 30b 

WHO CALLS THE SHOTS?
If the perfect Son of God cannot afford to live independently from the Father, we—who are in constant need of putting to death the flesh—certainly cannot afford selfish independence.

Paul describes it this way:

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

   Who, being in very nature^a God,

   did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

   but made Himself nothing,

   taking the very nature^b of a servant,

   being made in human likeness.

   And being found in appearance as a man,

   He humbled Himself

   and became obedient to death—

   even death on a cross! ~Philippians 2:5-8

To the Galatian church, Paul wrote—

"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." (2:20)

If only this death to flesh was a once for all decision, but it's daily. By daily realizing life is "not about me" and daily recognizing our dependence on God for all that is good, we allow Christ to live through us.

When C.S. Lewis' wife, Joy, began the journey of discovering her own insignificance and remembering with shame how others must view her because of her past life, she concluded: "Who am I, that I shouldn't look like a fool?

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN'T GET IT RIGHT?
Lest we think that some people don't struggle with this, Paul shares his close-to-despairing cry—

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! ~Romans 7:24

What started me thinking about this today was an hour-long conversation I had with God on a walk in a graveyard. I realized how much my own desires have been distracting me from Him. THEY became my focus. (Or, in reality, I was my focus.) My wants consumed my thinking, led me on rabbit trails during prayer or reading. I knew, if my hopes failed (which personal experience has taught me to expect this type of dream to fail), my emotions would plummet. I had centred my energy around—not something bad, but having stolen my focus it became—an idol.

Even in "releasing" my grasp on this dream, my silly self betrayed partial motive. I had to also confess that in surrendering, something inside me hoped it might lead to God to reward me with what I wanted.

Oh, wretched one I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

WHAT'S THE ANSWER?
So what's the answer? What's the twelve-steps we need to take to master the old and put on the new? If Jesus death was in essence our own death to our old nature, then why do we still struggle with it?

In older times, Christians referred to the "mortification of the flesh." Their extreme view of this is not what I'm after. In, however, the realization that daily "I" am the enemy of my soul, the continual need to receive from God through His Word and give up "my rights" to Him prayer, and the understanding of my absolute need of Him to be my righteousness—this is the mortification we need. While we still live in this body, we will always need to engage in this battle.

Paul says in Romans 7:25 that in the mind we realize our need of God, but in our old nature we are slaves to sin. We must feed the new nature.

Keith Green, a popular 1960s Christian rock singer, wrestled constantly with surrender. In his song Draw Me, he cries:

Help me, oh help me, please help me my Jesus.
Save me from sins that I thought were all gone.
Kill me with kindness, and break through my blindness.
I know till I'm dead I can never live on.

So what about you? Am I the only one who struggles so much with self-centredness? What do you struggle with and what have you found that helps?
_______________________

If you haven't read it, I'd recommend reading the biography of Keith Green—No Compromise.
 

Freedom's Foundation

Have you ever considered that rules come naturally to humans? Each person consciously or subconsciously constructs rules for themselves. The most savage nations have rules. Rules provide security.

A man may have the rule to give in to his lusts wherever they lead. A woman may have the rule to spend on whatever she sees.

Rules basically are a pattern on which our life is run. We have a code of acceptability. When someone else breaks the code that we keep, he or she is beneath us.

Non-Christians often scoff at religion because of the rules which it enforces, little realizing they have rules which they strictly follow.

The term addiction may be more accurate. When you think you are free from rules, you are most often bound by addictions, habits, compulsions. Self-gratification becomes your driving force.

In the book of Isaiah chapters 27-28, God contrasts two types of peace and security. The first is found in Him.

...let them come to Me for refuge;
let them make peace with Me,
yes, let them make peace with Me. (27:5)

But Israel neither fully rejected Him nor sought Him as their refuge and peace. Instead, they mocked the prophet. They said the same as people today, "God only binds us with rules."

But God reminds them that He had said to them, "'This is the resting place, let the weary rest'; and 'this is the place of repose'—but they would not listen." 

Because they would not find their rest in Him, God promised He would say, "Do and do, do and do, rule on rule, rule on rule" (v. 13). Resting in God would have freed them from disobedience. Seeking their own way, bound them in sin.

Instead of seeking God as their refuge, they created their own.

Therefore hear the word of 
Yahweh, you scoffers . . .
You boast, "We have entered into a 
covenant with death,
with the grave we have made an agreement.
When an overwhelming scourge sweeps by,
it cannot touch us,
for we have made a lie our refuge
and falsehood our hiding 
place. (28:12)

In contrast to the lie in which they seek security, God promises a Cornerstone, tested and precious, that will make a solid foundation. Those who build on this foundation will "never be dismayed." Those who trust in the lie, "hail will sweep away."

The apostles (1 Peter 2:6) recognized Jesus as the promised Cornerstone. He did not change from old covenant rules to only grace and love in the new covenant. He loves us enough to tell us how our life should should be lived.

Jesus said, 

If anyone loves Me, he will obey my teaching. (John 14:23a)

Drudgery comes in obeying rules, God's or those of the flesh, in our own strength and understanding. When we are filled with the Holy Spirit, we are free to obey.

The Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. (John 14:26)

As a manufacturer clearly states the car only runs on gasoline, so our lives will not prosper on disobedience.

As a game has no beginning or end without rules, so our life must be guided by something. Only following the right rules will win you the game.

As an eagle is not bound in flight, so obedience gives wings to live the life God created for us.

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. (Galatians 5:13)

Honest to Goodness

I think Christians are some of the most dishonest people in the world. No, I don't believe we mean to be. I think we've bought into the world's myth that we're to be perfect.

For some, this dishonesty gives birth to hypocrisy. They put on a mask to protect themselves. Disguising their true self. 

They're convinced that to follow Christ means one does everything one should in every way, all the time. When that Christian sees where he/she is failing, it must be hidden. This effort to cover up, eventually is exposed and, for those watching, Christianity as a whole is thrown out with the baptismal water.

Other Christians trust humans to be kind. But God? He's perfect, right? He can't know that I harbour hatred or bitterness. He mustn't know that I feel lust or envy. We must spare Him at all costs.

Oh, I know. We don't think of it in such black-and-white terms. It's the little preacher inside our heads. The one that when emotion stirs, says: "You know that isn't right." Yes, we know. Instead of bringing it to God, however, we quickly say a half-hearted "sorry" and change the subject.

Because we have this problem concealing our own sins, we dare not excuse a fellow believer who is honest. Are you kidding?

Someone comes forward saying he's into pornography—She's had an affair. We hold out our weapon to stab first. We quote Scripture at them. We tell them what dirty-rotten-sinners they are. Do they know what bad examples they are to the youth?

We kick them while they're down.

In case you suspect this is an exaggeration, when Southern Gospel singer Kirk Talley confessed his struggle with homosexuality, he received so many condemning e-mails from angry Christians, he had to close down his website.

What should we do then—with ourselves and with other people? Do we turn a blind eye to our sin? Do we accept it as part of life in this fallen world and give up trying to fight? Do we tell everyone every struggle we ever face?

No. No. No.

We must first deal with ourselves. In the case of sin, it is important to put ourselves first. If you realize an area in which you are struggling or have given in, tell God. Confess every detail.

Have you ever noticed how cringingly honest David and the other Psalm writers were? Psalms such as 137 make us cringe with their blatant hatred and seeming cruelty. Habakkuk provides a less ugly example. But all these men pour out sincere feelings to the Lord. Instead of acting in cruelty, they bring their cruel thoughts or, like Habakkuk, their concerns about the horrors of unpunished sin. In the latter's case, we have a written answer from Yahweh explaining His plans.

Multitudes of passages interwoven throughout Scripture prove, plead, and provide reasons for humans to confess everything. Yahweh can handle it.

In Psalm 50 Yahweh declares the opposite scenario to be the problem. Those who go through the rituals of worship, but hide their sins—those are the lives He detests. Those are the lives that anger Him.

Instead, what does He prefer?

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise. (Psalm 51:17)

Even if you don't feel contrite, confessing your sins openly before God gives Him entrance into your conscience and heart. Praying, even if it's wrestling in prayer, plugs you into the source for power, for freedom. It allows you to aim your weapons at your real opponent, within and without.

And your fellow Christian?

Interestingly, just below the passage in Matthew 18 where Jesus explains what to do with a brother who has wronged you is the parable of the unjust servant. The master forgave a great debt of the servant's. But, when a fellow servant asked that servant to forgive a lesser debt, the former had him thrown into prison. The master heard about it and in anger demanded full payment from the unjust one.

When someone admits guilt, that one is vulnerable. He or she has exposed an ugly truth. The world publishes these disclosures in Star, People, the latest talk shows and blogs.

But how should the Christian respond?

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins. (James 5:16, 19-20)

It is the job of the family of Christ to bring love and healing to each other.

Therefore encourage one another and build up one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Encouragement is the preventative. Love and prayer are the healing. If your brother or sister has sinned and has confessed it, in love with encouragement and prayer, build up (champion, defend, guard, support, go to battle for, back) your neighbor against the enemy inside and outside.

As God forgives and frees us from our sins, may we actively fight for and not against our brothers and sisters.

Pursue God and advocate the spiritual success of others, and God will give you victory in your battles.

The Imprisonment of Freedom

I finished reading Crime & Punishment this evening. I must confess, had a friend with excellent literary taste not raved about how good it is, I may have been tempted to stop in the first chapters.

The book does not make good bedtime material. The intense internal struggles begin as depressing, move to desperate, and then weave amongst mystery, suspense, intrigue, discovery, despair, and hope.

Fyodor Dostoevsky is a master at storytelling with depth. He does not just tell you the state of human affairs, he causes you to experience the enslavement to such a point that you suddenly realize the mirror you are peering into.

The murderer mentality appears as a foreign thought process to most readers or at least on the surface. Character Raskolnikov's rationalization of his crime, his belief that his only mistake was in lacking the nerve to carry his plan to fruition, and that the end would justify the means if he had succeeded...these thoughts are much closer to the views expressed on the news for varying degrees of crimes.

If these ideas are unfamiliar to you, perhaps you might relate in diverse extents to Svidrigailov. Passion drove Svidrigailov. Not passion for life but for lust. Addiction dictated his life, strangled any chance for love, and left him without hope.

The worst criminals in the story fluctuated between great acts of kindness and terror. The great acts flowed from need within themselves, but stopped miles away from being instigated by love. They needed to alleviate guilt, felt a compulsion or had an ulterior motive. The good they did never wiped out the evil for which they were capable. They knew that. That knowledge eventually lead to the drowning or birthing of hope.

Lest you think this book was 629 pages of depression in ink, Dostoevsky ends the tale with hope. He doesn't tie everything up with unrealistic rosy bows, but he shows the key that frees us from the imprisonment into which we are born; the imprisonment of slavery to passion, pride, greed... An imprisonment that destroys not just those enslaved, but everyone we touch. Slowly, sometimes imperceptibly, our own natures erode other people like water wearing away at rock.

The Apostle Paul sums in his letter to the Roman church:

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.

For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.

Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.

For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.

Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

(Rom 7:18-25a)

There is only one source for freedom. Freedom from Jesus means slavery to sin. Slavery to Jesus means freedom to live.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free, Paul tells the Galatians (5:1). Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Who are you living for? You or Jesus? It is a matter of death and life.