Don't Forget to Remember

Tonight is the eve of my birthday. For over twenty years I have had an unbroken tradition of writing a farewell letter on this night to my age.

It may sound corny, but there is a feeling of accomplishment to remember and summarize a year of one's life. This tradition both validates my experiences and, maybe in a sense, puts the year to rest.

Some years, I slip in pictures of trophies won. Other years, like with filing taxes, I list my losses. Every year, I have more blessings to mention than I have time, paper, or energy to mark.

God often told His people to remember, to write down what they had learned. He commanded the kings of Israel to write out a portion of the law before they began their rule. If they had obeyed, I wonder how different their history would have been. God is sovereign and knew they'd disobey; nevertheless, the prescription is still written for us to follow.

At the Jew's national birth into the land of Israel, God admonished:

Write [My law] on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates...—then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the Lord (Deuteronomy 6:9,12a)

We are apt to forget not just God's law, but also His faithfulness; answers to prayer that at the time astounded us, now are a distant and vague memory.

Many passages in the Bible reminisce God's faithful dealings with His people:

I will remember the deeds of Yahweh; yes, I will remember Your miracles of long ago.
I will meditate on all Your works and consider all Your mighty deeds.
Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God?
You are the God who performs miracles; You display Your power among the peoples.
With Your mighty arm You redeemed Your people...
Your path led through the sea, Your way through the mighty waters,
though Your footprints were not seen. (Psalm 77:11-15, 19)

Perhaps writing a letter to yourself seems too silly. How about to your son, daughter, niece, nephew, or a younger sibling? Write down what God has done for you and how He has amazed you by His grace. If they are children, seal it for them to read years from now after you are gone.

Point out His footprints in your life. Let's not let the stories of God's faithfulness die with us.

How has God been faithful to you this week, month, or year? I'd love to hear.

Ugly Duckling vs Beautiful Swan

What were your first thoughts when Susan Boyle took the stage on Britains Got Talent? Did you, like me, expect another horrible audition like many shown on American Idol? Probably. Susan's frumpish looks, her cocky, devil-may-care attitude... She was too unattractive to be so confident. Then, she opened her mouth and sang, and the Simon Cowell in all of us sat stunned. This ugly duckling had a beautiful talent for song.

What is it in us that applauds beauty and charm? It doesn't start as adults. Some of the smallest of children cringe from what they perceive as ugly and reach for what is lovely.

But from where does this ideal originate? It's true that someone who attracks you may not be attractive to me. As the saying goes, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Yet, I think, certain deformities are universally disdained. A particular level seems to be in place, differing some from culture to culture, by which we judge ourselves and those around us.

We accept in people some things that are different from us, but there is a line we draw. If someone is on this side of the eccentric line, they are accepted; that side, they are shunned. And sometimes, we shun and accept those we cannot ignore. Wealth and fame may weigh heavily in this.

What is it that causes us to react to singular people with something akin to fear? Why should we fear what we don't understand? History shows us we do. Look at the Americans' view of their African slaves or the Nazi's view of Jews, as a couple examples. Consider the horror and pain that these phobias caused.

Although we all love stories of ugly ducklings becoming beautiful swans, we must admit to secret judgements in our heart; standards by which we determine who is acceptable. We may fight it. Yet, it's there when we look in the mirror, watch TV, enter our jobs, sit in our pews.

C.S. Lewis, in writing to a childhood friend, reminds him of the connection between our eyes and the objects we view.

You say that nature is beautiful because of its shape, colour and motions, and perhaps a little because of association. Now these colours etc are sensations in my eye, produced by vibrations on the aether between me and the tree: the real tree is something quite different—a combination of colourless, shapeless, invisible atoms. It follows then that neither the tree, nor any other material object can be beautiful in itself: I can never see them as they are, and if I could it would give me no delight.

The prophet Isaiah paints a picture of Jesus' coming and predicts our prejudice:

My servant grew up in Yahweh's presence like a tender green shoot, like a root in dry ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to Him. (53:2)

The prophet Samuel fell into this trap when he was looking at Jesse's sons. He saw one of David's older brothers. Surely this tall, handsome man was who God had chosen to be king.

But Yahweh said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but Yahweh looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)

In one of his books, C.S. Lewis described how some, who we admire on earth, we may look at in horror when we see them as they really are; while others, who we ignored or shunned on earth, we, if we could see now how they really look, would be in danger of falling down and worshiping.

We may be nothing much to look at. We may not have a beautiful voice with which to sing. Yet, our bodies, our voices, our charm will some day return to dust. It's our hearts that live on. Our spirits are the focus of God's eyes.

As believers in our Lord Jesus, especially, we are commanded to not show favouritism (James 2:1). We are known to be God's by our love for enemies as well as friends. God's love in our hearts works to make us beautiful.

So, before you gaze so critically in the mirror or inwardly mock the stranger beside you, remember our true appearance is not yet visible.

What are your thoughts?

You Are What You Think

"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds." Deuteronomy 11:18a

My best friend and I were longtime fans of the Christian-rap group, DC Talk. I knew most of the lyrics by heart, especially Toby's. I didn't sit down to memorize them. I learned them by listening repetitiously and thinking about them. One day we put in one of their cassettes as we drove to church. When Toby's part came on, as usual, I rapped with him word for word. Something else happened in that moment. My friend looked at me in disbelief as my voice suddenly blended so completely with his, it sounded like one voice.

In a similar way, our daily actions become one with whatever consumes our thoughts. In Matthew 12:34b-35, Jesus said, "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings forth evil things out of the evil stored up in him."

What are we storing up in our hearts? Are we reading God's Word and letting His thoughts fill our minds or are we filling our minds with music, books, magazines, pictures, internet, movies or other things that teach an opposite way of life? The images and messages may seem harmless, but God reminds us that our thoughts determine our actions.

In Deuteronomy 11, God told the Israelites to be consumed with Him and His Word, and, in so doing, set an example of passionate living for God. If seeking God's pleasure consumes our thoughts, energy, feelings, and speech (Mark 12:30), He promises us a deeper understanding of who He is, a peace despite circumstances, and a freedom from sin's strongholds.

What can we do to fill our thoughts with things of God? We can memorize Bible verses ("Fix these words of Mine in your hearts and minds"v. 18), share our faith with others ("Teach them.., [talk] about them" v. 19), and display pictures, verses, or other items that remind us of our relationship with God ("Write them on the door frames of your house" v. 20).
Your actions flow from the rivers of your mind.

So how are you doing? Are there any tips you've learned that help you to concentrate daily on Him?

Climbs a Tree and Scrapes Her Knee...

Once, in second or third grade, I fell in the parking lot and scraped my knee. Since I kept up with the boys when I could, a scrape was not going to slow me down. That evening as I crawled into the hot bathtub, a red streak showed from the wound climbing up my leg. Mom took me over to the doctor. Blood poisoning. For at least a week I had to lay with my leg raised to keep the poison from spreading. Had my mother not seen it or taken me to the doctor, it would have been fatal.

Sadly, I think we often scrape up our spiritual knees and ignore the need for cleansing. It seems too small a sin to us. We forget that sin is sin to God, "big" or "small." Some sin immediately affects others; some, when left, festers into something more serious.

For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. (James 2:10)

Any sin left uncleansed will shoot straight to the heart with its poison. Don't take your sin lightly. Confess it to God.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

It's a daily bath in God's forgiveness that will keep us clean for the work He has for us.

The Architecture of Friendship

I've been contemplating lately what endears me to another person turning them into a friend.

In an essay I wrote as a child, the two characteristics I noted as being of top importance are honesty and loyalty. These are what I look for and admire in anyone with whom I interact. This is just a basis for friendship, but doesn't make a friend.

A friend is someone with a foundation of honesty (about his/herself and about me) and loyalty (he/she "has my back"). Upon this, four walls rest: depth (thought and conversation), humour, safety, and the appreciation of beauty (trivial and profound). The best friendships are housed under the roof of friendship with God (it may be argued that God is the foundation, but that's a different metaphor).

Depth: The best conversations are ones that interest all participants, are contributed to by all, and stretch the mind. These conversations are rare, but, when found, take moments to produce growth that usually takes years.

Humour: Anyone who knows me, even on the most superficial level, knows my appreciation for humour. Anyone who can make me laugh or, even better, can laugh beside me cannot be far akin from me. My family grew up laughing. Our humour often comes off dry and sarcastic, but is not usually meant to demean or belittle. So many times my humour goes over people's heads. Occasionally, I'll say something, expecting the necessity to explain, but the person understands. The relief of being understood!

Safety: Many people will share, but few will listen. How many times have you had someone ask how you are and never stop to hear? It's a cliché. Most people want you to be well, because they are too burdened or excited by their own world to care about yours. Few, precious few, listen anymore. I need to be careful that I do not become jaded. I find I hold back from most people, because I have seen too many times how little they care. They are not a safe place. You can't be vulnerable without fear of hurt. A true friend is safe. Even if they have to tell you you're wrong, it comes from their heart. The wound is healing.

"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Appreciation: At times, life may seem dark and hopeless. Yet, even in the dark, there is a longing for what is lovely. I gravitate to ones who see in the tiny ant or snowflake the profound creativity of God.

In college, one of my good friends, Masha, would always look up into the sky and comment on the beauty of the clouds or the sunset. She taught me to look up. To this day, whenever I appreciate the beauty of God's upper canvas, I think of Masha.

G.K. Chesterton wrote, "The hopeful element in the universe has in modern times continually been denied and reasserted; but the hopeless element has never for a moment been denied."

In a publicity teleseminar yesterday, the PR expert said that now is the best time for hopeful stories, because our nation (indeed the world) is on overload from all the bad news.

Friends, who can see beauty in the grand and insignificant, help to lift our focus from the dirt to the sky.

Your turn. What is your definition of a friend?

You Were Meant for Me and I was Meant for You

I find it interesting that God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him," before Adam had sinned and while God and man were in a perfect relationship. I think God said it at this time for a couple of reasons.

One: We were made for community. No person was made to be an island. Community can be marriage or just friendship, but we need to be in communication with others.

Like many counterfeits, I think first TV and now social media have provided a false sense of community. Researches say that our emotions respond to familiar characters on TV the way they do when we see our friends. The problem with this false sense of companionship is the giving is all one-sided, and what we do get is not what we need.

We have substituted relational candy that is quick, sweet, and easy to throw out if we get tired of it, for the nutritious roughage that a real, physically-present friend can provide. It's safer to hide behind a changing profile picture than to expose ourselves to someone who may reject us. This "safety," however, stunts our growth.

Two: Being sovereign and knowing Adam would soon sin and break his relationship with Him, God provided a way for us to live out our salvation. Before sin, Adam and Eve walked physically in God's presence. When sin entered between them, although blood provided a way for them to still reach out for God, they could not, and we cannot, physically see Him. The danger then becomes easy to fool ourselves into a head religion with no actual love for God. The solution? If we love God, it comes out in our physical and emotional giving to...other people.

By example and continuous blatant teaching, Jesus showed us how we love God. We can love others, with a selfish love, and not love God, but we cannot love God and not love others.

Jesus said, “If you love me, you will obey what I command." John 14:15

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” ~John 13:34-35

I believe it's important that we not give up meeting together for this very reason. Going to church and gathering with friends for both worship and play is vital. We need to give and to receive. This cannot be done through an electronic arm only. We have real arms for real hugs.

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts: disagreeing, agreeing or adding. Please feel free to share.

Unity vs. Unanimity

Growing up in the church, I've seen what disagreements can do to a congregation. For some reason, our western churches, or at least those in the U.S., feel we should avoid disagreements. If people cannot agree on everything, then those who think differently start their own church, go to a church they agree with, or begin a new denomination.

Where did the idea begin that unity meant never disagreeing?

One definition of unity that I feel best reflects the biblical idea is this: something whole or complete formed by combining or joining separate things or entities.

Someone once pointed out the diversity of Jesus' disciples: zealots (fighting against Rome), tax collectors (working for Rome), and fishermen (paying the taxes to Rome). The miracle of their unity lay in their following Jesus.

However, many times Jesus had to break up their arguments. What caused the friction? Pride. Jesus kept reminding them that it wasn't about them. After the ascension and the coming of the Holy Spirit, the somewhat cowardly, often prideful disciples became the courageous apostles spreading the Good News to the world and (most) dying for their faith.

What made the difference?

Although they had been with Jesus, they had not yet been changed by Jesus. Once their sins were paid for and they became filled with the Holy Spirit, their contemplations went from self-ward to God-ward. They saw disagreements as a means for improvement (as my Pastor pointed out from Acts 6:1-7). When all the Christians desired God's glory and the salvation of souls, their individual tastes and opinions became secondary (Acts 4:32-35).

Proberbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." How does iron sharpen iron? By the friction of rubbing the two pieces together. One of the best ways for our own sharp edges to be shaped is by dealing with people who annoy or disagree with us.

Jesus said, "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them" (Luke 6:32). And to His followers He said, "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35).

Being cleansed by Jesus and having love for one another is how Christians become "something whole or complete formed by combining or joining separate things or entities" or, I would add, quirks and personalities.

The apostle Paul said, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18). This verse infers that if you do nothing, there will not be peace. Peace is the action taken against the natural result of division. Solving differences of opinion is part of creating peace.

James explains how we are to view our internal struggle for our own way.

But if you harbour bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice (3:14-16).

Instead, James lays the framework in which we should deal with differences.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness (3:17-18).

And how do we obtain this wisdom?

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him (James 1:5).

Instead of viewing differences as a cause for parting, let's begin to think constructively about what God can do in and through us as we seek His wisdom, react in love, and pursue peace.