Recently, I watched one of my favourite movies-Awakenings. Based on a true story, I appreciate the brilliant acting, filming, script, and directing, but also the chance to be reminded about life.
The story takes place in the early 70s in a chronic hospital in the Bronx, New York. A research doctor, Dr. Sayer, becomes interested in certain patients that are catatonic, yet catch balls that are thrown towards them. Through investigation and persistence, he is able to try a new drug on, first, one, then, all of these particular patients. They awaken, many after ten to twenty years of this coma-like state. Leonard Lowe is one of the main characters with whom Dr. Sayer forms a close friendship.
As Leonard awakens into adulthood, he longs to be able to experience the life he has been missing. Unfortunately, around this time, his body begins to become immune to the drug. Dr. Sayer sees the side-affects, but doesn't have a remedy.
One moment that awakens my senses is when Leonard requests that the board give him the right to go out alone for a walk.
Head Doctor: I'm curious. Um...What would you do if you went out?
Leonard: I'd go for a walk and look at things. I'd talk to people. I would decide if I want to go in this direction or that direction or straight ahead. I would do all the things that you people take for granted.
Head Doctor: And that's it?
Leonard: That's it.
When this request is denied, Leonard rushes to the door. As he is dragged away, the camera films from his view focusing on a glass door and warm sunshine slowly moving farther out of sight.
"I would do all the things that you people take for granted."
What do you take for granted? Can you walk? Have you ever enjoyed the feel of walking, the strength of your muscles, the ability to stretch and run and skip? If you are limited here, have you enjoyed the other senses? The smell of crisp fall air; the touch of a hand or the feel of soft fur; the taste of your favourite meal; the sound of music or laughter; the beauty of a landscape, picture, or face?
When was the last time you longed to see someone and realized how great the ache would be if they were not there? It is like waking from a dream to imagine a family member, friend, pet that you love, gone; then to reaffirm your love for that one as if you received them back from the dead.
The freedoms we have to make decisions: instead of dreading grocery shopping, try to imagine countries without grocery stores. Then open your eyes to all the richness before you.
With the Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend and the American next month and with Christmas less than a few months away, the fall is a wonderful time to slow down and become intoxicated with gratitude for all that God has given.
We have so much, don't we? What are you thankful for?
10 October 2009
04 October 2009
If God Says No
I've been contemplating lately about longings. Bear with me.
Longings are not only universal, but relatively constant. Even in a state of contentment, we get hungry...
My questions have come from analysis of the past and present, and questions of the future.
Recently, I acquired a copy of two letters from a member of The White Rose (an anti-Nazi, German university resistance group) and her fiance. The letters have never been published in English. Many of The White Rose members were killed with personal and national dreams unfulfilled and never knew that their movement was later used by the Allies.
I've mentioned before, Dietrich Bonhoeffer died two days before the Allies freed Germany. Corrie ten Boom, lost her family in a concentration camp and, after all she'd been through, would daydream of taking a walk with a man she'd dated before the Holocaust.
Two of my friends have lost spouses this year: one in an accident, the other from an aneurysm. Both have confidence they will see their loved one in heaven, but never again on earth.
These examples are mainly relational, but Hebrews 11, the Hall of Faith chapter, lists many heroes, who died with a variety of hopes unfulfilled. Yet, they had confidence in God, who keeps His promises.
So, as I bring my request before God, I'm reminded that He may say "no." If He does, I am left with the question of how I will respond. Will I accept His answer or will I pout (and when the longing is great, it's hard to accept that it may be satisfied another way than how I hope)? Will I seek Him only for what I want or will I seek Him for Himself?
It's not as easy as it sounds, is it? Like in every area of life, I've found it is a process of surrender, which may have to be learned again.
What about you? How are you learning the difference between seeking God versus seeking His benefits?
Longings are not only universal, but relatively constant. Even in a state of contentment, we get hungry...
My questions have come from analysis of the past and present, and questions of the future.
Recently, I acquired a copy of two letters from a member of The White Rose (an anti-Nazi, German university resistance group) and her fiance. The letters have never been published in English. Many of The White Rose members were killed with personal and national dreams unfulfilled and never knew that their movement was later used by the Allies.
I've mentioned before, Dietrich Bonhoeffer died two days before the Allies freed Germany. Corrie ten Boom, lost her family in a concentration camp and, after all she'd been through, would daydream of taking a walk with a man she'd dated before the Holocaust.
Two of my friends have lost spouses this year: one in an accident, the other from an aneurysm. Both have confidence they will see their loved one in heaven, but never again on earth.
These examples are mainly relational, but Hebrews 11, the Hall of Faith chapter, lists many heroes, who died with a variety of hopes unfulfilled. Yet, they had confidence in God, who keeps His promises.
So, as I bring my request before God, I'm reminded that He may say "no." If He does, I am left with the question of how I will respond. Will I accept His answer or will I pout (and when the longing is great, it's hard to accept that it may be satisfied another way than how I hope)? Will I seek Him only for what I want or will I seek Him for Himself?
It's not as easy as it sounds, is it? Like in every area of life, I've found it is a process of surrender, which may have to be learned again.
What about you? How are you learning the difference between seeking God versus seeking His benefits?
28 September 2009
Urgent vs. Important
For those who have followed my blog, yes, this is unusual to post twice in one week. Tomorrow marks the anniversary of the death of a childhood friend. That and other thoughts got me musing.
While in college, my father would often admonish me, concerning my relationship with God, to make sure to make time for what is important. He knew that the urgent would always demand precedence. This is true on many levels.
An idea that has come to me frequently is that you make time for what matters to you. You know if someone thinks you're important by how they act. It doesn't have to be big things, maybe just a note, but they reach out because you matter.
My friend was killed in an accident. He was on his way to work and his life ended. Thankfully, the testimonies of friends and family reveal he lived out a similar principal, with people and with God. But, if he hadn't, how quickly it would have been too late.
So I'm reminded once again--make time for what's important. Life doesn't slow down (I'm learning that). Instead, it accelerates. It's you who has to say, "This one matters!" Your children, parents, spouse, friends... savour the moments, the touch, the faces, the words. Take time for God. Take time for people.
Activities never end, but people do.
While in college, my father would often admonish me, concerning my relationship with God, to make sure to make time for what is important. He knew that the urgent would always demand precedence. This is true on many levels.
An idea that has come to me frequently is that you make time for what matters to you. You know if someone thinks you're important by how they act. It doesn't have to be big things, maybe just a note, but they reach out because you matter.
My friend was killed in an accident. He was on his way to work and his life ended. Thankfully, the testimonies of friends and family reveal he lived out a similar principal, with people and with God. But, if he hadn't, how quickly it would have been too late.
So I'm reminded once again--make time for what's important. Life doesn't slow down (I'm learning that). Instead, it accelerates. It's you who has to say, "This one matters!" Your children, parents, spouse, friends... savour the moments, the touch, the faces, the words. Take time for God. Take time for people.
Activities never end, but people do.
27 September 2009
What's Love Got to Do with It?
My employer has begun a racial diversity group, in which I am a part. We have been discussing the importance of diversity and what it would look like in our immediate context.
This week, an African American male and an Indian (from India) female were sharing that their comfort level is greatest in groups of their own people. A couple of us countered that, as Christians, we should all be one in Christ; we should be one people and not segregate ourselves.
Our group monitor reminded us of Jesus example of reaching out, going the extra mile for those ostracized by His nation. The example of His reaching out to the Samaritan woman at the well came to mind. Jesus did not expect her to join the groups of His own people first, but spent time showing He cared for her as an individual and knew her greatest need.
I little brighter light went on in my head. In my desire that we all be unified, I have to realize that there are people that I need to reach out to in a more purposeful way, to show love, to make feel welcome and important.
Paul, in Philippians says, "Each of us should look not only to our own needs, but also to the needs of others." He goes on to give the greatest example for us to follow, the Hero of Love--Jesus Christ.
Jesus tied loving others in with true love for God when He gave the greatest commands: "'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the greatest and most important commandment. The second is like it: 'You must love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:37-40)
People today often choose one command over the other. They either focus so much on God that they fail to grasp that love for God is shown by His love flowing through us to others. If we are not practically loving others, we do not love God. "By this all men will know that you are My disciples if you have love for one another."
On the other extreme, individuals get so caught up in causes that they fail to see God. If we don't love God, what we do for others, no matter how good it appears to our fellow humans, is using people in the most selfish sense of the word.
Oswald Chambers rightly said: "No love of the natural heart is safe unless the human heart has been satisfied by God first."
And Augustine explains: "He loves Thee [God] too little who loves anything together with Thee, which he loves not for Thy sake."
As in all things the Bible teaches, there is a balancing rope to be walked. Loving God is always first. That comes from time with Him, feeding in His Word, talking with Him, but, then, going out and doing what He says (cf. James).
What is He asking you to do this week? Is there someone from another country or a different background that needs you to go the extra mile to show you care to really know them? Is there someone in financial need that God is asking you to give money without thought of repayment? Is there someone who is physically hurting that needs help around the house?
We must always focus on seeking God's face, while holding each other's hand.
This week, an African American male and an Indian (from India) female were sharing that their comfort level is greatest in groups of their own people. A couple of us countered that, as Christians, we should all be one in Christ; we should be one people and not segregate ourselves.
Our group monitor reminded us of Jesus example of reaching out, going the extra mile for those ostracized by His nation. The example of His reaching out to the Samaritan woman at the well came to mind. Jesus did not expect her to join the groups of His own people first, but spent time showing He cared for her as an individual and knew her greatest need.
I little brighter light went on in my head. In my desire that we all be unified, I have to realize that there are people that I need to reach out to in a more purposeful way, to show love, to make feel welcome and important.
Paul, in Philippians says, "Each of us should look not only to our own needs, but also to the needs of others." He goes on to give the greatest example for us to follow, the Hero of Love--Jesus Christ.
Jesus tied loving others in with true love for God when He gave the greatest commands: "'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the greatest and most important commandment. The second is like it: 'You must love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:37-40)
People today often choose one command over the other. They either focus so much on God that they fail to grasp that love for God is shown by His love flowing through us to others. If we are not practically loving others, we do not love God. "By this all men will know that you are My disciples if you have love for one another."
On the other extreme, individuals get so caught up in causes that they fail to see God. If we don't love God, what we do for others, no matter how good it appears to our fellow humans, is using people in the most selfish sense of the word.
Oswald Chambers rightly said: "No love of the natural heart is safe unless the human heart has been satisfied by God first."
And Augustine explains: "He loves Thee [God] too little who loves anything together with Thee, which he loves not for Thy sake."
As in all things the Bible teaches, there is a balancing rope to be walked. Loving God is always first. That comes from time with Him, feeding in His Word, talking with Him, but, then, going out and doing what He says (cf. James).
What is He asking you to do this week? Is there someone from another country or a different background that needs you to go the extra mile to show you care to really know them? Is there someone in financial need that God is asking you to give money without thought of repayment? Is there someone who is physically hurting that needs help around the house?
We must always focus on seeking God's face, while holding each other's hand.
20 September 2009
Deja Vu and Amnesia
Do you ever have days when you feel what you conquered several hours before is back defeating you now? For me, this is one of the hardest parts of life.
I'm not one for repetition. I hate song lyrics that repeat and repeat. I get impatient with hearing long stories of trite origin retold.
This is one of the reasons I didn't last as a piano student. I hated scales. Maybe it's because I'm task-oriented; I love to accomplish something and check it off my list. Likely too, I'm just lazy.
Regardless, in my image of how life should play out, I should learn something, master it, and move on; I should not be trying to emotionally grasp it a week, a day, an hour later.
Someone aptly quoted a Professor Clair Davis saying that the Christian life is "a combination of amnesia and deja vu, but I'm not sure if I've said that before!" It correctly sums up this feeling of learning and relearning.
I've been reading through Genesis, Exodus and now into Leviticus. One of the things that struck me this time, while reading of the rituals of the sacrificial system, was how interactive it was. It cost something. You had to bring one of your own animals or purchase one, lay your hand on it, and kill it. It cost financially, but it also cost emotionally. That animal was taking your place, dying because you sinned. The physical interaction had to leave an indelible impression. There was the smell of incense, not to be burned anywhere else; the feel of the lamb's head under your hand as you held it while it was slain; the sight and smell of the blood and burning...
Our sins have cost Jesus the utmost price; dying for sins He never committed, and for people who never loved Him (and most who never would). Dietrich Bonhoeffer calls it costly grace. Jesus paid the ultimate penalty so that we would be free. Free to do what we want? No. Free to serve Him from our heart.
This all comes back to the battle. We are free to fight now. Free to win by the Spirit of God in us, who belong to Him. Yes, it is wearying to fight and re-fight, but we have the chance to win a battle that before Jesus we had no hope to win.
This fight is the cost of our faith. It does not win us salvation, but is a result of being saved.
My nephew said it this way: "Just when I think that I cannot go on, I look up and see Your cross."
And the writer of Hebrews says, "In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood." (Hebrews 12:4)
The trials and lessons of life are God's way of discipling us as His sons, Hebrews goes on to say. We are disciplined out of love, so that we won't be spoiled children.
What about you? Are you relearning a lesson you thought you'd learned? Don't lose heart. There is a point to this deja vu. He teaches us again, and He doesn't give up on us.
"Let us not get tired of doing what is good, for at the right time we will reap a harvest-if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9)
I'm not one for repetition. I hate song lyrics that repeat and repeat. I get impatient with hearing long stories of trite origin retold.
This is one of the reasons I didn't last as a piano student. I hated scales. Maybe it's because I'm task-oriented; I love to accomplish something and check it off my list. Likely too, I'm just lazy.
Regardless, in my image of how life should play out, I should learn something, master it, and move on; I should not be trying to emotionally grasp it a week, a day, an hour later.
Someone aptly quoted a Professor Clair Davis saying that the Christian life is "a combination of amnesia and deja vu, but I'm not sure if I've said that before!" It correctly sums up this feeling of learning and relearning.
I've been reading through Genesis, Exodus and now into Leviticus. One of the things that struck me this time, while reading of the rituals of the sacrificial system, was how interactive it was. It cost something. You had to bring one of your own animals or purchase one, lay your hand on it, and kill it. It cost financially, but it also cost emotionally. That animal was taking your place, dying because you sinned. The physical interaction had to leave an indelible impression. There was the smell of incense, not to be burned anywhere else; the feel of the lamb's head under your hand as you held it while it was slain; the sight and smell of the blood and burning...
Our sins have cost Jesus the utmost price; dying for sins He never committed, and for people who never loved Him (and most who never would). Dietrich Bonhoeffer calls it costly grace. Jesus paid the ultimate penalty so that we would be free. Free to do what we want? No. Free to serve Him from our heart.
This all comes back to the battle. We are free to fight now. Free to win by the Spirit of God in us, who belong to Him. Yes, it is wearying to fight and re-fight, but we have the chance to win a battle that before Jesus we had no hope to win.
This fight is the cost of our faith. It does not win us salvation, but is a result of being saved.
My nephew said it this way: "Just when I think that I cannot go on, I look up and see Your cross."
And the writer of Hebrews says, "In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood." (Hebrews 12:4)
The trials and lessons of life are God's way of discipling us as His sons, Hebrews goes on to say. We are disciplined out of love, so that we won't be spoiled children.
What about you? Are you relearning a lesson you thought you'd learned? Don't lose heart. There is a point to this deja vu. He teaches us again, and He doesn't give up on us.
"Let us not get tired of doing what is good, for at the right time we will reap a harvest-if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9)
13 September 2009
Motives
Recently, I asked God to open my eyes to sin in my life. I find the more I'm conscious of my own weaknesses, the greater my reliance on Him and, therefore, the greater freedom and peace I feel.
He answered.
It started out with a careless e-mail that infuriated a co-worker. Then, slowly, I began analysing why I went out of my way to tell people I was praying for them or even just going out of my way to listen. It made me feel good. I wanted to know why, so I began spying on myself.
My conclusion? I like to be liked. It's part of my personality, but others sometimes view it as a sign of spirituality. It isn't. I may die with the praise of my peers and reap silence before God.
Oswald Chambers said most of us don't act rude or say what we feel before others because we're cowards; we don't want to be disliked.
So is this revelation just one of depression; that what appears good is backed up by selfish and self-centred motivation? No, I don't think so.
When I realize my motives, I surrender them to God. I can't stop being friendly or trying to encourage others because my motives might not be pure (for I'm sure sometimes it is used and isn't backed by consciousness of me). I can and do realize with this revelation just how much I need a Saviour to save me from me and from sin.
Jesus paid my penalty once for all, but I still need Him to carry and cleanse me. This is part of the relationship. This is part of what theologians call "sanctification." I am saved from the penalty of my sins, but am still in the process of breaking sinful habits and becoming separated to God. The proof of the former is that I hate sinning.
This is where the freedom comes. I confess my sins, and God forgives me (1 John 1:9). I surrender my motives.
Paul says that none of us can truly know all the motives of the heart:
"I have a clear conscience, but that doesn't mean I have God's approval. It is the Lord who cross-examines me...He will also bring to light what is hidden in the dark and reveal people's motives..." (1 Corinthians 4:4-5)
The Psalmist says: "Who can notice every mistake? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep me from sinning. Do not let anyone gain control over me. Then I will be blameless, and I will be free from any great offense. May the words from my mouth and the thoughts from my heart be acceptable to you, O LORD, my rock and my defender." (Psalms 19:12-14)
Knowing my sin reminds me where my righteousness comes from. It is not an excuse to keep on sinning. It is an excuse to keep on reaching out to Jesus.
What about you? Do you have an area where others think you are good, but you have realized you do it for the wrong reasons?
It's freeing to let go of the facade and trust God.
He answered.
It started out with a careless e-mail that infuriated a co-worker. Then, slowly, I began analysing why I went out of my way to tell people I was praying for them or even just going out of my way to listen. It made me feel good. I wanted to know why, so I began spying on myself.
My conclusion? I like to be liked. It's part of my personality, but others sometimes view it as a sign of spirituality. It isn't. I may die with the praise of my peers and reap silence before God.
Oswald Chambers said most of us don't act rude or say what we feel before others because we're cowards; we don't want to be disliked.
So is this revelation just one of depression; that what appears good is backed up by selfish and self-centred motivation? No, I don't think so.
When I realize my motives, I surrender them to God. I can't stop being friendly or trying to encourage others because my motives might not be pure (for I'm sure sometimes it is used and isn't backed by consciousness of me). I can and do realize with this revelation just how much I need a Saviour to save me from me and from sin.
Jesus paid my penalty once for all, but I still need Him to carry and cleanse me. This is part of the relationship. This is part of what theologians call "sanctification." I am saved from the penalty of my sins, but am still in the process of breaking sinful habits and becoming separated to God. The proof of the former is that I hate sinning.
This is where the freedom comes. I confess my sins, and God forgives me (1 John 1:9). I surrender my motives.
Paul says that none of us can truly know all the motives of the heart:
"I have a clear conscience, but that doesn't mean I have God's approval. It is the Lord who cross-examines me...He will also bring to light what is hidden in the dark and reveal people's motives..." (1 Corinthians 4:4-5)
The Psalmist says: "Who can notice every mistake? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep me from sinning. Do not let anyone gain control over me. Then I will be blameless, and I will be free from any great offense. May the words from my mouth and the thoughts from my heart be acceptable to you, O LORD, my rock and my defender." (Psalms 19:12-14)
Knowing my sin reminds me where my righteousness comes from. It is not an excuse to keep on sinning. It is an excuse to keep on reaching out to Jesus.
What about you? Do you have an area where others think you are good, but you have realized you do it for the wrong reasons?
It's freeing to let go of the facade and trust God.
06 September 2009
What Are You Wishing For?
Does it seem right now that what you would like most, what seems good, what you're wishing for is completely out of reach? Sometimes even when it feels like God has been opening pathways in the right direction, you still wind up in a giant field at a dead end?
I was reminded tonight of a passage I love, but am continually in need of learning.
"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I love God's patience with me. It's funny and sad how I hate giving that patience back to Him when He says "wait."
Do you have something you're holding back from God, afraid that He will say no? Let's trust Him, ignore our doubt, and follow in the way we know will please Him. If you have never given Him your heart, well, that's the place to start.
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." ~Jim Elliot
I was reminded tonight of a passage I love, but am continually in need of learning.
"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I love God's patience with me. It's funny and sad how I hate giving that patience back to Him when He says "wait."
Do you have something you're holding back from God, afraid that He will say no? Let's trust Him, ignore our doubt, and follow in the way we know will please Him. If you have never given Him your heart, well, that's the place to start.
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." ~Jim Elliot
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