What is your worth?

I love to watch sparrows. They hide in the bush outside my front window and set my cats to cackling. They fight over feed in my backyard, little comprehending the strength their unity could have against the bully blue jays and starlings.

Months back, I heard a thud at my front door and saw a hawk fly away. Peering from the window, I saw a motionless feathered bundle. It didn't take long to realize life had left my poor little friend.

Have you ever held a sparrow? Yes, they may be common, but they are beautifully designed. Death is part of life, and yet it still seems so unnatural when death masks a face that moments before life animated.

My heart grieved for the loss of life and beauty, but a comfort came remembering Jesus words in Matthew 10:29-31.

"Aren't two sparrows sold for a penny? Not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father's permission. Every hair on your head has been counted. Don't be afraid! You are worth more than many sparrows."

God also grieves the necessity of death that sin brought into the world. Yet it does not happen haphazard. God is still in control, and, what's even greater, He cares what happens to you and me. He knows us so intimately that He has numbered every hair on our heads.

If you've grown up hearing this, it may sound cliche'. But think about it. Who else loves you that much?

Next time you see a sparrow, remember: God is watching over you in love, and you can trust Him with your life, because He holds it.

Hiraeth

I have a new favourite word.

I became acquainted with a singer, who, unbeknown to me, is also one of my brother's favourite tenors--Bryn Terfel. The title song is We'll Keep a Welcome. In this sentimental piece, he sings of welcoming home someone, who has been away, and kissing "away each hour of hiraeth."

Hiraeth is a Welsh word for longing. The way it is described in books and definitions make it clear it is not a simple wish or an inconsistent desire, but a deep, insatiable longing. A longing only fulfilled by coming home.

We all have hiraeth. C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien, in their conversations together, concluded these longings are a result of our being "exiled from Eden." Our roots were planted in a perfect garden. We have been exiled from that paradise, but we can have hope for another.

Sadly, for those who get through life as best they can--this is it. The hiraeth will be eternal and worse.

We accrued a debt in Eden. This debt was too large for us to pay. The debt of sin. Jesus paid this debt, but it is only received by those who will accept the payment written in His blood. If we snub His gift, we will pay our own debt. And, what we were created for, what the longing inside of you is reaching for, will never be touched.

If, however, you accept the payment, you have a promise of something greater than earth's small pleasures. No matter how many small longings are fulfilled today or tomorrow, there will always be that one deep-rooted hiraeth. That longing for a Home, where all traces of sorrow, pain, parting, and craving will be satisfied. When we look on the face of the One who we have longed for all our life, then, and only then, will every hiraeth of our heart be kissed away.

Whatever your hiraeth is today, you may find temporary fulfillment in what you think you want, but the longing will not die away completely while in exile.

As the chorus of the song "Finally Home" describes it:

Just think of stepping on shore,

and finding it heaven

Of touching a hand,

and finding it God's

Of breathing new air,

and finding it celestial

Of waking up in Glory,

and finding it Home.

The Puzzle

Today I pulled out a puzzle and began the process of piecing it together.

Have you ever noticed how many times the shapes fool you? You think for certain you've found the perfect match. You put it in, hardly noticing there is a little stiffness in the fit. Suddenly, you find the real location for the piece. You have to wrench it out to put it where it belongs.

Unlike us, God knows where each of the pieces of life should fit. As you lay down one small decision after another, Jesus knows the whole picture you can't see.

You may think you've found the perfect fit. If you're determined enough, you may even make something work by pushing your will, cutting corners, ignoring patterns. The problem is, this mars the perfect picture. God can forgive and complete a plan for your life, but you'll always bear the scars of the wrong fit.

Whatever choices you're facing now--whether it's a job or a house that seems built out of dreams or someone you've met who seems made for you--remember to check with the Artist of your life. Don't force events, but pray, wait, and only act as God leads. It may seem to your mind that you know the solution, but wait on God's timing and seek His will.

Nothing is a good substitute for the best fit.

Do You Want to Be Happy?

A friend sent me a link to a discussion on NPR (National Public Radio) regarding happiness. Part of the program was an analysis of a group of students from a prestigious university. They studied their lives from graduation through various stages of their lives (some to the end). Many of these students may be said to have been born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Most have lived unhappy, if not tragic, lives. Why?

The program seemed to conclude that when we pursue happiness, we fall short of finding it. But when we strive, instead, for a fulfilling life (although definitions varied), often happiness follows. Working diligently, partaking in moderation, enduring trials, and nurturing good relationships became the pillars the specialists surmised as the means of finding this satisfaction.

To these experts, this is a new discovery. To those of us familiar with the Bible, this is very old news.

Regarding relationships and hard work, the Bible says: "Enjoy life with the wife of your youth, all the days of your fleeting life that He has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might..." Ecclesiastes 9:9-10

Moderation: "And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit..." Ephesians 5:18

Enduring trials: "The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. It is better for a man to hear the rebuke of the wise than to hear the song of fools." Ecclesiastes 7:4-5

These are just a few of the many verses that discuss our pursuit and focus in life, on what brings ultimate satisfaction.

Ironically, as the Bible has said for thousands of years and as mankind discovers and rediscovers (and forgets), it is not in aiming for what we want that we find happiness, but in aiming for what is right that we find what we have always wanted.

The most important aim, only alluded to in NPR's analysis, is this:
"The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with ever secret thing, whether good or evil." Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

C.S. Lewis said, and he sums this up perfectly:
"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither."

Who is Your God?

Starting as a teenager, I have seen an obvious tendency in my own life toward idolatry. No, I've never set up an image and bowed down to it; I've never placed food out for some tangible or intangible idol, but I have worshipped in the temple of my heart images other than God.

Some may think I'm overreacting. The USA is quite liberal in her use of the term idol, with such shows as American Idol. Is all this wrong?

It's all about the heart. God has used symbols, He has used practices, He has used music, He has used wide varieties of things in the past that people still use, but with which we break His heart. Why? Because of our hearts.

In the midst of God's use of the sacrificial system to point to Jesus as the Lamb to come and take away our sin, the Psalmist wrote,

"In sacrifice and offering You have not delighted, but You have given me an open ear. Burnt offering and sin offering You have not required. Then I said, 'Behold, I have come...I delight to do Your will, O my God; Your law is within my heart.'" Psalm 40:6-8

The psalm had a broader reference than just the Psalmist, but I believe it was the reflection of God's true desire. He wants our heart. Yes, He wants obedience, but not just the outward display. He wants an obedience that flows out of love.

What started me thinking on this was a quote of Augustine's that a friend of mine posted this week: "He loves Thee too little who loves anything together with Thee, which he loves not for Thy sake."

Augustine cut at the heart of my struggle. It's not that I replace God, in my own thinking, but that I place another person, idea, priority on the same level. I may pray and spend time with God. Then realize this other god is vying for thoughts and emotions. These times prove to me that I love Him "too little."

I need to learn a love of God that is supreme above other loves, to learn to love everyone--family, friends, etc--FOR THE SAKE of Christ and not the perceived merits of that person.

My mental preacher tells me how things should be, but mind over emotions is tiring.

So, what about you? What is it that distracts you from loving God with all your heart? Is it your own ambitions? Someone else? Dreams? Disappointments? Fears?

Unfortunately, none of us are immune from the struggle. Fortunately, we can have victory.

Spiritual Lessons from My Cat

My cat, Chiara, just turned ten this year. Throughout her life, I have contemplated some of the interesting things she's taught me about myself and my walk with God. Two lessons come to mind now.

While Chiara was young, I had her spayed and declawed. She, of course, could not understand why I was taking her and leaving her at that scary, strange place full of pain and dangerous smells. I assured her it would be alright. When I picked her up the next day, she was a bit sick, but very affectionate.

As I thought about how horrible it must have seemed that I caused this pain by bringing her there, and then her sweet acceptance and trust of me after, I thought about my own reaction to trials. I doubt I often accept them, at least at first, with such trust in the righteous wisdom of my Master. Instinctively, I think I'm getting a bum rap. Then I remember exactly who I am and who He is; although, my emotions take longer to bring into check. How wonderful it would be if I could trust His hand as He places me in surgery. And, as I heal, praise Him for His goodness, even though I may not know the reason for the pain.

Also in Chiara's young life, I had a couple occasions where I lost my temper with her. She is a very vocal cat. Sleeping and driving were the times she tried my patience and found them wanting. I yelled at her and picked her up. She cowered. I still feel sick when I jokingly say something to her in a tone that she takes as angry, and she flinches. What amazes me, though, is how she trusts me still. She would allow me to do most anything with her. She greets me at the door when I come home, follows me around the house, brings me her toys to throw, sleeps with me, and wants to always be near me.

Although a vastly imperfect analogy, her forgiveness reminds me both of God's forgiveness and the kind of forgiveness we are told to give. Although lashed out at, misunderstood, misrepresented, etc., when we seek His forgiveness, God does not keep bringing up our past. He is eager to forgive the truly repentant. Not just forgive, but He trusts us again, as we follow Him, with His Word and His testimony. Then, He asks us to give the same forgiveness to each other.

If you have fallen, don't stay there. Confess your sins to God and leave them with Him. If someone has hurt you, remember the sins God could list to your account, but instead He forgave. If you're going through a painful time, trust God that the surgery is necessary and for your good, even if you don't ever know why.

Enduring the Heat

One of my greatest weaknesses in tests of endurance is the nagging question "how long?" If I can see an end, I can force my emotions, my will to push a little longer. If I can't, I have sometimes stopped at the threshold of the finish line.

As I've thought about how I can direct my focus to my eternal target, I have often contemplated how martyrs do it, going to the death through some gruesome method. In reading Psalm 74 this week, I wondered if their lessons may have consisted of similar disciplines learned long before the trial.

Asaph, the Psalmist, wails over Israel's defeat by her enemies. He goes into details for the first nine verses of the destruction, calling God to turn His "steps toward these everlasting ruins."

In verse ten, Asaph asks my question: "How long...?" and "Why do you hold back your hand...?"

This is where the lesson begins. In verse twelve, Asaph remembers:
Yet God my King is from of old, working salvation in the midst of the earth.

Asaph reminisces God's faithfulness in the past. He recounts times when God did big and awesome things, as well His daily provisions and power that he may have taken for granted.

With this track record, Asaph pleads with God to be faithful to His covenant, to act justly, to defend the defenseless, to honor His name.

Jeremiah 31:31 says that God has made a new covenant with us, one dealing with our hearts. Hebrews 12:24 explains further that Jesus is the mediator of this covenant, which is sealed by His blood.

For those who have accepted God's covenant with us, when you are going through times where your heart is aching, your health is failing, and the future looks grim, keep recalling God's faithfulness; remember the big things He has done, but don't forget the spring flowers, the beautiful sunset, the laughter of children, the feel of the breeze. He has been faithful to you. You can trust Him with the "how long?"

For those who are winging it through life, blindly feeling about for the path, He says, "'In a favorable time I listened to you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you.' Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation." (2 Corinthians 6:2)

To have hope, you must start with the Hope-Giver. There is no true and lasting hope outside of Jesus. Accept, remember, and don't let anyone forget.